Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers, who make greater contribution to society, should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, more and more

people

Use synonyms

think that professional workers

such

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

, nurses and

teachers

Use synonyms

, who make

greater

Correct article usage

a greater

show examples

contribution to society, should be paid more than those

people

Use synonyms

in the field of

sports

Use synonyms

and

entertainment

Use synonyms

. I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion because

doctors

Use synonyms

, nurses and

teachers

Use synonyms

contribute to

people

Use synonyms

's health and development, but other

professions

Use synonyms

are still important. On the one hand,

doctors

Use synonyms

, nurses and

teachers

Use synonyms

have a

directly

Replace the word

direct

effect on

people

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. First and

the

Rephrase

foremost, the

show examples

main reason is saving

people

Use synonyms

's lives.

For example

Linking Words

, doctor's advices help to reduce

risks

Correct article usage

the risks

show examples

of disease in the future.

In addition

Linking Words

, they provide treatment and help to stay healthy. Meanwhile,

teachers

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

contribute a lot.

For instance

Linking Words

, they teach us

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how to write, read,

analyze

Change the spelling

analyse

show examples

, and how to think and make a lot of important decisions.

As a result

Linking Words

, all these

professions

Use synonyms

make our lives

more safety

Replace the word

safer

and much better.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, other

professions

Use synonyms

still play an important role.

Sports

Use synonyms

and

entertainment

Use synonyms

help

people

Use synonyms

develop important skills

such

Linking Words

as concentration and critical thinking. Unlike

teachers

Use synonyms

and

doctors

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sports

Use synonyms

require more

attenion

Correct your spelling

attention

on physical activities.

Entertainment

Use synonyms

helps to improve creativity skills

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

is important in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

often

focuses

Correct subject-verb agreement

focus

show examples

professions

Use synonyms

shich closely related to medicine and education, I believe that other

professions

Use synonyms

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

entertainment

Punctuation problem

entertainment,

show examples

remain important and should not be ignored.

tul.dan7

Mar 27, 2026

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task response

Answer the question more directly. You say you partly agree, but you do not clearly explain when sports and entertainment workers should or should not get high pay.

task response

Add one clear example for the other side. Your essay gives a health and school example, but the sports and entertainment side needs a real and clear example too.

task response

Develop each main idea more. Some points are short, so the reader wants more support and detail.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some links between ideas are weak, so the flow is not always smooth.

coherence and cohesion

Use topic sentences that match your main point more closely. This will help each paragraph stay focused.

coherence and cohesion

Check word forms and small grammar errors because they can make meaning less clear and hurt the flow.

task response

You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.

task response

You write about both sides of the topic, so your answer is complete.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear paragraph plan: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use simple linking words like On the one hand, On the other hand, In addition, and As a result.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

229 words

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Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers, who make greater contribution to society, should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Crime rates wil fall as advances in technology, make it easier to detect and prevent crime to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every yong person how to be a good parent Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent

Nowadays, people believe that the environment influences their accomplishments. Some people think their success and accomplishment were influenced by the places where they grew up. Do you think the environment does or does not affect people’s accomplishment and how it affects?