The diagram below shows the production of a lead pencil. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This
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process
Use synonyms
diagram illustrates the creation of a lead pencil.
Overall
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, it is a twelve-step man-made linear
process
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that starts with seeds only
,
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apply
show examples
and ends with producing a sharp pencil. The entire
process
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takes more than 17 years to be completed. In
further
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detail, the
process
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starts with acquiring seeds,
then
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replanting them after waiting for four months.
This
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planting phase will take around three years. In the subsequent
phase
Punctuation problem
phase,
show examples
after the trees have fully grown, they will be thinned. After 14 years of thinning the plants, all the required
meterials
Correct your spelling
materials
extracted from trees will be
gatherd
Wrong verb form
gathered
show examples
,
then
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cut using thin slats. Upon completion, these
meterials
Correct your spelling
materials
will be treated to be
finally
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ready for production in 50 days. In the next five stages, the produced black lead will first be glued and grooved.
Thereafter
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, a new
slat
Correct your spelling
slate
will be put over the black lead like a sandwich,
then
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it will be hard-pressed using heat.
Finally
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, it will be cut, painted, sharpened and stamped, and ready to be sold.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • harvesting
  • cedar logs
  • sawing process
  • converted into slats
  • treated with a preservative
  • durability
  • graphite and clay mixture
  • writing core
  • processed into thin rods
  • grooved slats
  • glue applied
  • sandwiching the 'lead'
  • pressed together
  • standard pencil lengths
  • painted
  • color vibrancy
  • heat-sealed
  • ferrules and erasers
  • market distribution
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