IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries，People are wearing western-style clothes rather than the traditional type of clothes. Why is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Instead
Linking Words
 of wearing traditional dresses, individuals prefer to follow western style of clothing in many nations.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 is an influence of
western
Fix capitalization
Western
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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according to
Linking Words
 perspective, it has both negative and positive sides
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be explained with relevent example in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs. First of all, in today's era, comfort is a big reason of adapting western
culture
Use synonyms
 in the matter of
clothing
Punctuation problem
clothing,
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 as the western clothes are very comfortable to wear.
For instance
Linking Words
, in many countries , like in
india
Fix capitalization
India
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, the traditional dresses like suits and sarees are very heavy to carry and
also
Linking Words
 very uncomfortable
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
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 to which women of that country
feel
Verb problem
find it
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 hard to work,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
western clthes
Correct your spelling
Western clothes
 like lowers and t-shirts are lighter in weight to wear and make it easier to work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the influence of western
culture
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 more on people
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
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 to which people
attract
Wrong verb form
are attracted
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 to
western-style
Correct determiner usage
the western style
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 of dressing, as the traditional clothes are usually in one style,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
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 western clothes have different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of styles. a question about its negative or positive development, so it is a negative development, because in the race of adapting western
culture
Use synonyms
, individuals are forgetting
thier
Correct your spelling
their
culture
Use synonyms
.
there
Fix capitalization
There
show examples
 is a big example of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 india where almost 65% of
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
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 tradition is lost somewhere in people's wish to chase western style.
To conclude
Linking Words
, Eventhough, its a positive way to show that
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 is developing
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 not
o rembember
Correct your spelling
to remember
 your
culture
Use synonyms
 is a big mistake to
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 it.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say clearly why this change happens, and explain more why it is negative.
task response
Add one more clear reason in the body, and explain each point with a simple example.
task response
Keep your position the same from start to end. You say both sides, but later you say it is negative.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear paragraph plan: intro, one body for reasons, one body for opinion, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, because, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea only.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion.
task response
You used an example about India to support your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas follow in a clear order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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