IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

"In many countries, the population of major cities is growing rapidly, leading to serious problems such as housing shortages, traffic congestion, and increased pollution. What are the causes of this, and what solutions can you suggest?"

It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
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 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the
percentages
Check wording
percentage
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 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 in large
city
Check wording
cities
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 has been
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 up quickly,
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in a variety setback
such
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 as housing shortages, traffic congestion, and
climb
Correct word choice
increased
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 pollution.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main cause and propose possible solutions. On the one hand, it is crucial to consider
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 trigger
of
Change preposition
for
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 cities is growth rapidly, which leading to a range of disadvantages.A significant factor to explore is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 increased pressure of
rose
Correct word choice
the growing
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 population on infrastructure and public services, which underscores that roads can become congested and hospitals and schools may become overcrowded.
Additionally
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, transportation systems can be stretched beyond capacity. To illustrate
this
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 perspective, one might refer to
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
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 of crime would increase moderately
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 pickpocketed and theft of property.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to highlight that the rising cost of living
as
Change preposition
, due to
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 higher demand for
housing
Punctuation problem
housing,
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 would
more
Verb problem
make it more
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 difficult for people to afford adequate accommodation.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that the growth of informal settlements and slums.
Therefore
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, living conditions are poor and access to clean water, sanitation and electricity is limited.
Besides
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, more people generate more waste and pollution, which can degrade air and water quality.
On the other hand
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, to combat the issue, some product steps can help to overcome
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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 extent. The foremost one is that city planners and authorities should expand and upgrade infrastructure and public facilities, which meet the needs of the large population.
For example
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, governments may build affordable housing, improve public transportation and increase the capacity of healthcare and education facilities.
Beside
Change preposition
Besides
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this
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, encourage the use of green spaces by means of
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
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 in renewable energy and
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 waste management systems.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are several issues
due to
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 rocket rapidly citizen in major cities,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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taking steps
such
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 as administrators invest infrastructure can solve the problems to a large extent.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say why city numbers grow, and give clear fixes.
task response
Use main ideas that directly match the topic, like jobs in cities and better transport.
task response
Add one or two real, clear examples to support each main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph easy to follow with one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, so, also, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your meaning is clear.
task response
You answered both causes and solutions, so the essay fits the task.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Some ideas are relevant, such as housing, roads, schools, and pollution.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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