IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, many aspects of life have changed compared to the past, and one of the most significant
changed
Replace the word
changes
 is new sciences.
As a result
Linking Words
, there are many
subjects
Use synonyms
studying
Wrong verb form
being studied
show examples
 at
school
Use synonyms
. So, some people believe that
school
Use synonyms
 time should be used
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning crucial
subjects
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of traditional and easy
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some
subjects
Use synonyms
 could be difficult to learn selfstudy beacause, it need some rules and some fundamental
such
Linking Words
 as mathematics, physics, chemistry and others.
In other words
Linking Words
, these
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
 need
teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
show examples
explain
Verb problem
to explain
show examples
 them
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with other
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, these
subjects
Use synonyms
 may depend on specific information and accuracy.
For example
Linking Words
, in mathematics, there are many operations and rules that
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 easy which need
tutor
Correct article usage
a tutor
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
. Another point to consider, science of
food
Use synonyms
 and how to prepare it
could
Correct pronoun usage
, which could
show examples
 need kitchen at
school
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some
requirments
Correct your spelling
requirements
 that use
at
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 topics, and all of that
add
Correct subject-verb agreement
adds
show examples
 extra cost
Linking Words
although
Punctuation problem
, although
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic
easy
Verb problem
is easy
show examples
 and
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 can learn at home. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 kitchen at house is the best place to learn
Use synonyms
food prepare
Correct word order
how to prepare food
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 and how to prepare need to specialist to work, it
could
Wrong verb form
can be studied
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 at
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 for some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. To work at restaurant and
food
Use synonyms
 places. By way of conclusion,
school
Use synonyms
 time is not long
time
Correct word choice
enough
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
 many
subjects
Use synonyms
. So,
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
 subject may
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
be studied more
show examples
 than others, and other subject
study
Use synonyms
 at university
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.

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task response
Talk about both sides more clearly. You mainly support one side, so the other side is too short.
task response
Give your opinion in the intro and keep it clear in all body parts.
task response
Add one real and clear example for each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part have one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like First, Also, However, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Explain each idea more. Some points are too short, so the reader wants more support.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you think school should focus on key subjects.
task response
You try to compare school subjects with food study.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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