IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter • say how you feel about his performance • give details of your musical activities • explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

Dear Karmjit Anmol, I am writing to express my feelings about your concert, which I attended
last
Linking Words
 week. Your event was held at Rogers center located in Toronto, and I went there with my extended family.
Although
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two singers performed very well, I especially enjoyed your
music
Use synonyms
. The atmosphere was full of energy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the majority of
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
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 enjoyed your
music
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you not only sang numerous songs but
also
Linking Words
 played piano and violin. A Hollywood rapper
also
Linking Words
 collaborated with you on your songs. I came to know from one of
magazines
Correct article usage
the magazines
show examples
 that you teach
music
Use synonyms
 to ten students every year. These days, I am struggling with
voilin
Correct your spelling
violin
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and guitar, which I found them quite hard. I would appreciate it
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 you could help me with the
music
Use synonyms
. So that I could
purse
Use the right word
pursue
show examples
 my career in the field. I am looking forward to your positive consideration. Your sincerely, Rupinder Kaur

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task response
Answer all three parts in a clear way. Add a little more about how you feel and what help you want.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear order: feeling, your music, and help you want. This will make the letter easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check the opening and closing. Write 'Yours sincerely' not 'Your sincerely'.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part. This will make your writing more clear.
task response
You answered all parts of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start and end.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are mostly easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stellar performance
  • captivating
  • musical prowess
  • talent
  • repertoire
  • collaboration
  • mentorship
  • resonate
  • aspiring musician
  • composition
  • rendition
  • inspirational
  • vocal range
  • harmonize
  • skillset
What to do next:
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