IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for everyone, including young people , to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is
argue
Wrong verb form
argued
show examples
 that all humans should protect
money
Use synonyms
 for fothcoming days. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will talk about how
limit I accept
Correct word order
I limit my acceptance
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement. First of all, saving bucks for the future is a benefit for a person. Whether it's
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 or
much
Correct determiner usage
a lot of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
. As
Arabic
Correct article usage
the Arabic
show examples
 famous idiom said: protect your white bucks for a black day.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 we can'
t
Use synonyms
 predict what the future
is disappear
Verb problem
holds
show examples
 for us, may one will die tomorrow
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 he
don'
Use the right word
won't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 have much
enjoy
Replace the word
enjoyment
 with his
asset
Check wording
assets
show examples
. Evidence of that, we see a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 who we think
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don'
t
Use synonyms
 have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 range of salary after they died, they
dropped
Verb problem
lost
show examples
 a lot of
money
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 lot of
people
Use synonyms
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 agree with
this
Linking Words
speech
Punctuation problem
speech,
show examples
 they will still save
money
Use synonyms
 as they do now. In other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 we can say that if we don'
t
Use synonyms
 have funny time in
your
Fix the agreement mistake
our
show examples
 youth you will not have it when
you
Fix the agreement mistake
we
show examples
 get older. Behaviour of
protect
Replace the word
protecting
money
Use synonyms
 is appropriate for selfish
people
Use synonyms
 who
just
Verb problem
are just
show examples
 about
himself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
 and don'
t
Use synonyms
ever mind
Verb problem
care
show examples
 about others
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 wife or family. Think is
differ
Replace the word
different
 in different
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
show examples
 our brain can chane his ideas. Sometimes we think about having cash
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sometimes we mind for exchange thish cash to
touches
Use the right word
buy
show examples
 things, whether it's
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 or
luxury
Correct article usage
a luxury
show examples
 car.
Seondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
,
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 it effective
of
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 efficient for protecting
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the future
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 do
people
Use synonyms
 really advance from
this
Linking Words
 motivation
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 As I mentioned in the previous
paragraph
Punctuation problem
paragraph,
show examples
 it doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 make sense very well.
While
Linking Words
 you protect
Use synonyms
money
Punctuation problem
money,
show examples
 there is a tip or tax that will surprise you
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 you can'
t
Use synonyms
 actually escape from
this
Linking Words
.
In
Change preposition
On the
show examples
 other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 it claims
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
that we must
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
 our
child
Check wording
children
show examples
 to protect
money
Use synonyms
.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 isn'
t
Use synonyms
 practical for
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 who is just
mind
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 about a game he
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to buy and
don'
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 really think about
value
Correct article usage
the value
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
modiration
Correct your spelling
moderation
 is
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 way for
enjoyable
Correct article usage
an enjoyable
show examples
 life.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view to the end.
task response
Add one main idea for each body part, then explain it with one simple reason and one clear example.
task response
Use examples from real life or simple common cases. Some ideas in your essay are too general or not clear.
coherence cohesion
Make your order easier to follow. Use one paragraph for intro, two for body, and one for conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way: first, for example, however, because, so, in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some parts change idea too fast and this makes reading hard.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both saving money and enjoying life when young.
coherence cohesion
There is an introduction and a conclusion, so your essay has a full shape.
coherence cohesion
You try to use paragraphs and some linking words like first of all, also, and to conclude.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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