some people say children no longer need to develop handwriting skill, Others believe that handwriting is still important. Discuss both his views and give your opinion.

Some individuals believe that there is no reason for
children
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to develop handwriting
skills
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,
while
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others argue that calligraphy is still crucial. In my view, I believe that developing handwriting
skills
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for
children
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is crucial, as they beneficial for
children
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's development and literacy. On the one hand, the primary reason why individuals argue that a child doesn't need handwriting
skills
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due
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is due
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to digitisation and technological development. In the modern era, an increasing number of
children
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are typing on the keyboards of their devices,
such
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as smartphones and tablets,
instead
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of handwriting.
Moreover
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, the government are implementing laptops
instead
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of notebooks, and more and more
children
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studyin online.
As a result
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, the need for handwriting is decreasing dramatically in the contemporary era.
On the other hand
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, developing a child's writing
skills
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can have a positive effect on their development. Learning to write helps
children
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learn to read, spell and punctuate.
In other words
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, a child who learns handwriting
skills
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will be literate and smart because it develops critical thinking and fine motor
skills
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.
Furthermore
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, many schools and universities still require examinations to be handwritten, and
this
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is likely to continue, as there is considerable concern about the possibility of cheating in assignments produced at home on a computer. In conclusion,
although
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handwriting is less important than it was, it is still an important part of young people's education.
This
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is because it is part of the learning process, and because there are still areas where handwritten responses are necessary.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say a bit more about why some people think typing is enough, and a bit more about why handwriting still helps children.
task response
Give one clear real example. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Your opinion is clear, but you can explain it more in the body, not only in the introduction and end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are good, like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', but some sentences feel a bit long. Try shorter sentences for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main point has enough support. One extra sentence of support in each body paragraph would help.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and relevant.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the ideas are grouped into clear paragraphs.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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