IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today food travels thousands of miles from the fram to the consumers. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

Food
Use synonyms
 is the primary necessity for any human on the earth .
Due to
Linking Words
 globalisation , people are now getting
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 products from
abroad farms
Correct word order
farms abroad
show examples
 that
situated
Verb problem
are situated
show examples
 hundreds of miles away from their home .In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 highlighted certain factors
which are uplifts
Correct subject-verb agreement
that uplift
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend
as well as
Linking Words
 the advantageous effect of exporting
an agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
 products to the rest of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 .
To begin
Linking Words
 with , advancement in technology has become the first and foremost reason for widely availability of
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
food
Use synonyms
iteams
Correct your spelling
items
 worldwide. To
precise
Verb problem
be precise
show examples
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, there are
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
 websites that
available
Verb problem
are available
show examples
 in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
competative
Correct your spelling
competitive
 market for selling various types of goods
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 harvesting products with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 profit margin .
As a result
Linking Words
 , local farmers
now
Verb problem
are now
show examples
 tending towards
international
Correct article usage
an international
show examples
 platform
instead
Linking Words
 of playing locally.
For instance
Linking Words
, 'INDIA MART'
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
the tech
gient
Correct your spelling
giant
 of leading
exporter
Fix the agreement mistake
exporters
show examples
 across
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India reportadly generated 20 million dollars in
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
 farming industry . There is meritorios effect for both
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 by transporting
foods
Check wording
food
show examples
 internationally .
Firstly
Linking Words
, it helps to boost the country's economy ,
hence
Linking Words
 political leaders could utilise those funds for
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
 development .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
As
Fix capitalization
as
show examples
 it
reqires
Correct your spelling
requires
a huge number of drivers and farm workers for providing foods globally, individual of privillaged areas could find their source of income without having a strong
acedemic
Correct your spelling
academic
 background.
For example
Linking Words
, Amul dairy in India
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 employing hundreds of native workers
since
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 past few decades. In conclusion,
availablity
Correct determiner usage
the availability
show examples
 of various types of
food
Use synonyms
 across the planet is because of technological awareness among people. Economic development and employment
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
continuios
Correct your spelling
continuous
 rise with
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
 which proves that
it
Verb problem
proves it
show examples
 is a trustworthy trend .

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly why food travels far, and say clearly why this is more positive or more negative.
task response
Give one or two clear main reasons only. Then explain each reason with a simple example.
task response
Your opinion is present, but it should be stronger from the start and stay the same in all parts.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer paragraph plan: intro, reasons, positive or negative side, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow because of unclear links. Use simple linking words like first, next, as a result, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each body paragraph has one main idea and enough support.
task response
You answered the topic and gave reasons for food travel.
task response
You gave an opinion that this trend is positive.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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