IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing Do you agree or disagree

It is predicted that the increasing growth of online retail activity will lead to the closure of
shops
Use synonyms
 in urban areas. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 logistical limitations and concerns about product
quality
Use synonyms
 will sustain demand for physical stores. One of the reasons why online shopping will not result in the closing of
shops
Use synonyms
 in urban centres is
because of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
logistical challenges. The delay in
Use synonyms
delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
show examples
 of purchased items causes an inconvenience to people. Sometimes,
Use synonyms
delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
show examples
 period may take weeks to months
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can create disruptions for customers.
For instance
Linking Words
, the allocated time for
Temu
Correct article usage
the Temu
show examples
 online store
delivery
Use synonyms
 is fourteen days, but most times it takes about a month.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the exorbitant
delivery
Use synonyms
 fees
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 another challenge. Sometimes, the
delivery
Use synonyms
 fee may be more expensive than the item purchased.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 issues will maintain the demand for
shops
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is the concern about product
quality
Use synonyms
 and authenticity. Internet shopping increases the risk of purchasing fake and
low
Correct your spelling
low-quality
quality
Use synonyms
 goods since there is no option for physically previewing them.
For example
Linking Words
,
Shainee
Check wording
Shainee's
show examples
 online store advertises and displays
high
Correct your spelling
high-quality
quality
Use synonyms
 outfits
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the shopping experience is always a debacle
due to
Linking Words
low
Correct your spelling
low-quality
quality
Use synonyms
 fabrics.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online shopping may lead to discrepancies between ordered and delivered items
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 receiving an entirely different item
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can cause a major drawback.
As a result
Linking Words
, physical
shops
Use synonyms
 will continue operation because of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 concerns. In conclusion, it is predicted that the rapid growth of virtual shopping will result in the closure of
shops
Use synonyms
 in towns and cities. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because there may be logistical challenges, issues with product
quality
Use synonyms
 and authenticity,
as well as
Linking Words
 discrepancies between orders associated with online shopping.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in each body part. Put the first sentence in a very clear way, then explain it.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are good, but a few lines feel repeated or a bit sudden.
task achievement
Give one more clear example for each main point. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task achievement
Check small word form and grammar problems because they sometimes make your meaning less clear.
task achievement
You clearly answer the question and keep the same view from start to end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You use real examples of online shops to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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