IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently bought a second-hand car from a company that sells used cars, but the car developed some problems. You have phoned, left messages and sent emails, but you have not heard anything from the company that sold you the car. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter explain the problems you have had in contacting the company, and explain your dissatisfaction describe the problems with the car tell the manager what you want him to do

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to draw your attention towards my car that I bought from your company
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a couple of months
.
Rephrase
ago.
show examples
 I am Rupinder Kaur
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 purchased a second-hand car from your store. I have been attempting to contact you for the
last
Linking Words
one
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
month via phone calls or emails. Your employees have not yet answered my responses, which is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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quite
disappointing
Correct article usage
a disappointing
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 experience.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I am experiencing a number of problems
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the vehicle.
Firslty
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, the car's brakes sometimes
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 properly, which can probably lead to an accident in the future.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I drove it on the highway
last
Linking Words
 week, and it suddenly stopped in the middle of the road. I would appreciate it if you could replace it with another one. If it is feasible, you could repair it without any fee. I would be grateful if you
talk
Verb problem
could talk
show examples
 to
you
Correct determiner usage
your
show examples
 staff about the reason behind not being able to contact me. I am looking forward to your positive
consideratio
Correct your spelling
consideration
. Yours faithfully, Rupinder Kaur.

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task response
For task response: say the contact problem more clearly. Tell how many times you called and emailed, and say no one replied.
task response
For task response: ask for one clear action. For example, ask for a free repair by a set date, or a full replacement.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: use simple linking words like First, Also, Finally, so your ideas move in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: keep one main idea in each paragraph: contact problem, car problem, and what you want.
task response
For task response: you answer all parts of the task and say what you want the manager to do.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your letter has a clear opening, body, and closing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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