IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports and leisure activities for the public. Others believe that healthcare and education are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that sports and entertainment activities are essential for all ages.
While
Linking Words
 others think that
governments
Use synonyms
 should spend more funds
in
Change preposition
on
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 improving the healthcare
services
Use synonyms
 and the education system.In
this
Linking Words
 essay i will discuss both views, and
then
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i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain my opinion. First of all, planning official events
such
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 as
,
Correct determiner usage
a
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 marathon will help citizens maintain
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 and active lifestyle.
Also
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, increase the
numbers
Check wording
number
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 of malls and restaurants in the cities in order to make them more desirable for living.
Moreover
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, that will lead to
develop the
Correct word order
the development of
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 tourism in the country
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has many benefits.
On
Correct determiner usage
One of the
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 benefits to consider is
,
Correct word choice
that
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 the incomes of
governments
Use synonyms
 and small
businesses
Check wording
business
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 owners will significantly increase.
As a result
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, public and health
services
Use synonyms
 will be developed in many aspects. Some people think spending more costs in
this
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 matter is a waste of money and time.They believe that several
services
Use synonyms
 regarding tuition fees and healthcare
insurances
Check wording
insurance
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 must be improved and expanded.
For example
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, many countries still
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 very poor educational systems.
Hence
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, their
governments
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
are more
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 focused on tourism and the
architectures
Check wording
architecture
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 of the country. In conclusion ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 think managing a sustainable balance between
entertainments
Check wording
entertainment
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 and public
services
Use synonyms
 is required by
governments
Use synonyms
.
Build
Wrong verb form
Building
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 areas for
capture
Wrong verb form
capturing
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 enjoyable moments is important.As it will reduce stress and cortisol levels.
Also
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, that might enhance the quality of life, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 individuals to be more productive and confident.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your first side is longer than the second side.
task response
Make your opinion very clear. Say it in one direct sentence and keep it the same to the end.
task response
Add one or two clear examples for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence breaks. Some sentences are too long and hard to follow.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
Some ideas are easy to understand, like health, tourism, and quality of life.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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