Some children spend hours every day on thier smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, many
children
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spend a lot of time on their
smartphones
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. There are several reasons for
this
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.
First,
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smartphones
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are very interesting and entertaining.
Children
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can play games, watch videos, and chat with friends.
Second,
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many school activities and homework
need
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require
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the use of
phones
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or the internet.
Finally
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,
children
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often see adults and friends using
phones
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, so they want to do the same. There are both positive and negative sides to
this
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. On the positive side,
smartphones
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help
children
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learn new things, find information quickly, and stay in touch with family and friends.
For example
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, they can use their
phones
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to study, listen to
news
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the news
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, or do research for school. On the negative side,
children
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can become too attached to their
phones
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. They may spend less time playing outside, reading books, or talking
face to face
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face-to-face
with people.
This
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can affect their health and social skills. In my opinion, using
smartphones
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can be good if
children
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use them carefully and for useful purposes. Parents should guide them and set limits on the time spent on
phones
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.

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task response
For task response, add one more clear idea on why children use phones so much. This will make your answer more full.
task response
For task response, your view is clear, but you can make it stronger. Say more about why you think it is mostly good or mostly bad.
task response
For task response, use a more specific example, not only general ideas. This will help support your points better.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but you can link ideas more smoothly with words like because, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each body part has one main idea, which is good, but you can extend each point a little more.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ending is clear, but it can be a little stronger by repeating your main view in a more direct way.
task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use simple paragraphing well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • time
  • use
  • reason
  • many
  • children
  • phone
  • games
  • chat
  • friends
  • school
  • sleep
  • health
  • mood
  • focus
  • learn
  • safe
  • harm
  • good
  • bad
  • limit
  • plan
  • rules
  • family
  • parents
  • balance
  • help
  • information
  • ability
  • design
  • access
  • guidance
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