IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In several countries around the world, students take a year off between high school and university in order to travel, work or volunteer. However, in most countries, students go straight to university after graduating. Discuss both approaches and give your opinion about which is better.

Following graduation from high school ,
students
Use synonyms
 in several countries opt for a year
gab
Use the right word
gap
show examples
 before enrolling into
collage
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.
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
show examples
 in many other areas
students
Use synonyms
 head
immediatly
Correct your spelling
immediately
 to their university of
choice
Use synonyms
.in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 my opinion ,taking some
time
Use synonyms
 off before
Use synonyms
collage
Correct your spelling
college
 holds
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great benefits .
Students
Use synonyms
 who choose to take some
time
Use synonyms
 after high
schools
Check wording
school
show examples
 do
this
Linking Words
 for several reasons
.first
Punctuation problem
. First
show examples
,some
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
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 like thay been through a
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
period
Use synonyms
 of exams and they need
this
Linking Words
time
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 to relax and vent .Others
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that its good
period
Use synonyms
 to work and collect some money to support them in
Use synonyms
collage
Use the right word
college
show examples
 later on
.
Punctuation problem
. Additionally
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
 ,I believe that
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
 of rest
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them go for better
Use synonyms
choice
Check wording
choices
show examples
 regarding their area of
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
 ,
students
Use synonyms
 who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 medical school but are not 100% sure about their
choice
Use synonyms
 can do a
period
Use synonyms
 of
observeship
Correct your spelling
observership
 in some hospital to make sure that
this
Linking Words
 is what they want.
for
Fix capitalization
For
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 these
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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,taking
time
Use synonyms
 off before university can have an amazing impact on
students
Use synonyms
. In many cultures
however
Linking Words
, high schools student go immediatly to their university of
choice
Use synonyms
 .
this
Linking Words
 largely because in these countries ,delaying going to
collage
Use synonyms
 can cost the families a lot of money which they can not afford .
this
Linking Words
 is mostly happen in third world countries ,where houses rely on
this
Linking Words
 adolcents to go and finish their study ,find a job and
subsequently
Linking Words
 provide for the families .for that reason ,continuation of studies is crucial in many sociaties to avoid financial burden. In conclusion ,taking a break after finishing high school studies is a valid
choice
Use synonyms
 in many areas around the world.It has a lot of benefit
such
Linking Words
 as relaxation ,
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 support and making better decisions about their future
.
Punctuation problem
. However
show examples
however
Linking Words
 ,in other areas and largely
due to
Linking Words
 financial reason unintruppted studies
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a must.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about taking a year off than going straight to university.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way in the body, not only in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
Add one more clear example for the second side to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, because, and for this reason.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph balance. The second body paragraph is less developed than the first one.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand most of the time.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words such as for example, however, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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