IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better for our environment and economy if people ate locally produced food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people believe that
food
Use synonyms
 from remote areas is better for our economy and environment. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 point
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
 First and foremost, it should
recognize
Change the spelling
recognise
show examples
 the fact that farms from long distances are being supplied
chains
Change preposition
to chains
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 for many restaurants, because their reliable
food
Use synonyms
 uses fewer chemicals than
city’s
Correct article usage
the city’s
show examples
 farms. It is obvious that the quality of soil in these areas is less affected by factories.
For example
Linking Words
, farms in northern Vietnam won awards in
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 supply
competitive
Replace the word
competition
 and became reliable sources Another reason
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with locally produced
food
Use synonyms
 good for the environment and economy
that
Correct word choice
, as
show examples
 buying local
food
Use synonyms
is improved
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
 living
standard
Check wording
standards
show examples
 in these places. It's
also
Linking Words
 clear that finance is enhanced by consumers. The good case in point is that more
jobs
Check wording
job
show examples
 opportunities are made, especially
older
Change preposition
for older
show examples
 citizens.
For instance
Linking Words
, the number of jobs available in remote areas has increased In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly support consuming local
food
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, each of us should consider carefully before making the final decision on
this
Linking Words
 issue

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task response
Say your main view in a more clear way in the first part. Write: I completely agree that local food is better for the environment and the economy.
task response
Answer both parts of the topic more fully. You talk about environment and economy, but your ideas are still short.
task response
Give more clear reasons for each main point. Explain how local food cuts travel, fuel use, and cost.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and easy to trust. Your example about farms in northern Vietnam is not clear enough.
coherence and cohesion
Put your second body paragraph in a more clear form. Start with one topic sentence, then explain it, then give one example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more well. For example: First, In addition, As a result, In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects well to the one before it. Some parts now feel hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your last line does not match your full agree view well. If you fully agree, do not add a closing idea that sounds unsure.
task response
You answer the topic and give a clear side: you agree.
task response
You write about both the environment and the economy, so your essay covers the main parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic full shape: start, two body parts, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some simple linking phrases like First and foremost, Another reason, and In conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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