In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums or money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transpor. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, some individuals believe that it is mandatory to spend a significant amount of money on building new railway lines for fast
trains
Use synonyms
connecting
cities
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. Other
people
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argue that the money should
instead
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be used on developing existing public transport.
Overall
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,
while
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fast
trains
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could benefit residents, I believe there are more advantages to improving current transportation. On one side of the debate, constructing new lines for
trains
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travelling
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between
cities
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could save a lot of travel time.
This
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can help students, workers, and business
people
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move more efficiently and
arriving
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arrive
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at their destination quicker.
This
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can
also
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make
people
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choose
trains
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over other modes of transportation,
such
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as planes or cars, which can help cut air pollution and traffic jams.
Furthermore
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, new railways can help
infrastructure
Correct article usage
the infrastructure
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overall
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. It can open up more possibilities for trade, tourism and
creates
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create
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new jobs.
Although
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the cost is very high
initially
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, some
people
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think it is a strong plan for the future, as
cities
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will become more connected.
While
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there are benefits to these constructions, improving and developing subways, buses and trams is more sustainable.
Firstly
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, it is much cheaper and faster to upgrade existing transport rather than
creating
Wrong verb form
create
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a completely new one. Governments can focus on adding more buses, fixing old tracks, and developing a more
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
system
overall
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.
Subsequently
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, improving current public transit can help more
people
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in their daily lives. Buses, metros and trams are more commonly used
generally
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apply
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by
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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, children, and workers.
This
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may be beneficial for a larger demographic of
people
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as opposed to the ones traveling in between big
cities
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. To summarise, I firmly believe that local governments should prioritise enhancing the existing system, for the social benefits that it provides, before looking to invest in something new.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. The first side is clear, but the second side has stronger support.
task response
Add one real or clear example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain some ideas more fully. For example, say how better local transport helps daily life in a direct way.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some parts can be smoother and more natural.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each main idea has enough support before moving to the next point.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your position is clear from the introduction and the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, with clear paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion matches the main idea of the essay well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • high-speed rail
  • railway line
  • public transport
  • between cities
  • save travel time
  • daily travel
  • traffic jam
  • air pollution
  • road congestion
  • long-term growth
  • strong demand
  • local train
  • bus service
  • metro system
  • upgrade old tracks
  • safe and clean stations
  • public benefit
  • large cost
  • balanced plan
  • government spending
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