IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

This
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 topic has been
one
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 of the most debated
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one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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 in the
last
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 century and really underlines the importance of the legal system of each jurisdiction. A key role is played by the judges and the
Memebers
Correct your spelling
Members
 of the Parliament who are in charge
to
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of
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 developing
new
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a new
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 set of rules. On
one
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 hand,
it is clear that
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 solely sending
criminal
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criminals
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 to prison is not effective
,
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;
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otherwise
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, we would have already solved the problem of breaching the law. Fearing the consequences of possibly going to jail has not significantly reduced criminality over the years.
Thus
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, increasing the penalty or the number of years an offender shall spend in jail would not be of much use. What developed countries should come up with nowadays
,
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apply
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 are clear methods of reintegrating people back
in
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into
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 society,
such
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 as providing specific
trainings
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training
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 that would make them useful once they get out of prison.
On the other hand
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, sending criminals to prison can not be totally eradicated,
this
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 being,
nevertheless
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, an effective way of
tacking
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tackling
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 out of a community a dangerous person. Not punishing criminal offenders by sending them to jail would create
for
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in
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 the other people a feeling of fear and would make them feel insecure.
However
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, states should be more concerned about the fact
prisoners
Correct word choice
that prisoners
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 face a real problem of reintegrating
in
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into
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 society if they have spent several years behind bars.
To sum up
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, the issue of how offenders can be reintegrated
back in
Correct your spelling
into
 society is
one
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 of the most important ones nowadays
and
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, and
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eventhough
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even though
 there is no simple answer to
this
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 problem, states shall really invest more in providing help for criminal offenders.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain your main points more fully. Some ideas are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few sentences feel too long or not fully connected.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow so each paragraph has one main focus.
task response
You discuss both sides of the issue and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow in most parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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