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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members o society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that
parents
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 should teach their
children
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 how to behave well with others,
while
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 others think that
school
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 is the best place to learn these values. I believe that
parents
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 play a more important role because they are a child’s first teachers. On the one hand, schools are important in teaching
children
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 how to behave in society.
This
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 is because
children
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 spend a large part of their day at
school
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, where they interact with teachers and classmates.
As a result
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, they learn important skills
such
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 as respect, cooperation, and communication.
For example
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, in countries like Japan,
children
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 are taught discipline and good behaviour from an early
age
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 at
school
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.
Therefore
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, schools help
children
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 develop social skills.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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 have a stronger influence on their
children
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’s behaviour. From a very young
age
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,
children
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 learn by observing their
parents
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. They copy how their
parents
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 speak, act, and treat others. The home environment plays a key role in shaping a child’s personality and values.
For instance
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, in Finland,
children
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 start
school
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 at the
age
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 of seven, so they spend their early years learning from their
parents
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 without academic pressure.
This
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 shows that
parents
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 are the first and most important teachers. In conclusion,
although
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 schools help
children
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 learn social behaviour,
parents
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 have a greater impact because
children
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 learn from them at an early
age
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 through daily interaction and observation.

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task response
Add a little more detail to each main idea so your answer feels more full.
task response
Make your own view even more clear in the second body part, not only in the start and end.
task response
Your examples are good, but you can explain them more to show why they fit your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because it has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more linking words between ideas in the same paragraph to make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Some points are a bit short, so add one more sentence of support after each main idea.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own opinion.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical and easy to understand.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach right and wrong
  • set a good example
  • follow rules
  • show respect
  • be kind to others
  • share with others
  • help other people
  • say sorry
  • tell the truth
  • daily habits
  • early years
  • at home
  • in school
  • work in a team
  • social skills
  • a sense of duty
  • good behavior
  • fair way
  • different backgrounds
  • guide children
  • learn by watching
  • play an important role
  • work together
  • strong values
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