IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others contest those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

It is widely believed that the design of the
buildings
Use synonyms
 that are newly built in big cities should be controlled by the governments.
Conversely
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 insist that
people
Use synonyms
 who actually pay for the construction of these
buildings
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to build
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
 as they want. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
while
Linking Words
 discussing both sides, I will express my opinion on the given topic. On the one hand, some big cities have their own
asthetics
Correct your spelling
aesthetics
 that allow them to promote tourism; by having unmatching building in those areas, the
overall
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 view of the city could be ruined, leading to the downfall of tourism.
Beside
Change preposition
Besides
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, many
buildings
Use synonyms
 may affect the surrounding environment
due to
Linking Words
its unappropriate
Fix the agreement mistake
their inappropriate
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 designs.
For example
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, big
buildings
Use synonyms
 can block the light source of the surrounding houses, resulting in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of natural light for basic needs.
Therefore
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, the construction of
building
Check wording
buildings
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 in mega-cities should be controlled by the government in order
prevent
Verb problem
to prevent
show examples
it's
Use the right word
its
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 detrimental effects on the surrounding environments.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 insist that controlling the design of the
buildings
Use synonyms
 that they pay the money for construction is
limitting
Correct your spelling
limiting
 their freedom of personal
properties
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property
show examples
. They believe that the
decitions
Correct your spelling
decisions
 made on the land they bought should be made by themselves and shouldn't be controlled by other persons.
Subsequently
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, restricting the ability of creating personalized-building is restricting the horizon of art. Rarely does art have the opportunity to rise if its foundation is limited from the beginning.
For example
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, many
buildings
Use synonyms
 that were first
criticized
Change the spelling
criticised
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 by the crowd,
then
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 became symbolic and showcase the creativity of the poeple live in that period of time. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I believe that
while
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 protecting the
asthetic
Correct your spelling
aesthetic
 of an area remains vital to the
overall
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 development of the big cities
;
Punctuation problem
,
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people
Use synonyms
 should have their freedom to design their own
buildings
Use synonyms
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 as it shows the ownership of
people
Use synonyms
 to that land.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
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 those
buildings
Use synonyms
 can be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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evidence of
human's
Check wording
humans'
show examples
 creativity.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. Your view is there, but it is a bit mixed in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea in each body paragraph very clear at the start.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check each sentence so it supports the main point of the paragraph.
task response
Explain your opinion more clearly in the conclusion.
task response
You discussed both sides of the topic.
task response
You gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is divided into clear paragraphs.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • aesthetic appeal
  • planning efficiency
  • safety regulations
  • energy efficiency
  • standardized construction codes
  • innovation and creativity
  • economic benefits
  • urban landscapes
  • architectural diversity
What to do next:
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