IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: – explain your situation – describe your problems – tell him/her when you think you can move in

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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
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 Singh, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to make
request
Correct article usage
a request
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 to extend my stay in your apartment for
Linking Words
further
Rephrase
apply
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a few
Use synonyms
months
Correct word choice
more months
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. I have been living in your apartment
along with
Linking Words
 my
father
Use synonyms
since
Change preposition
for
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 the
last
Linking Words
 seven
months
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. A couple of weeks ago, my
father
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involved
Verb problem
was involved
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 in an accident, and his car collided
in
Change preposition
with
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 a tree, during which he sustained some injuries to his right shoulder and his right knee. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
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present, he was unable to walk independently. Since your flat is situated on the ground floor, it is quite
easier
Correct word choice
easy
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 for me to take him for a walk nearby. The
hosipal
Correct your spelling
hospital
 is
also
Linking Words
 located near the building, so I
have not
Correct word order
do not have
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 to travel for a long time to regular check-ups
of
Change preposition
for
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 my
father
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. My
father
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's recovery is expected to take a few
months
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,
thus
Linking Words
 I would prefer to live in it until my
father
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 does not recover fully. I would appreciate it
it
Correct word choice
if
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 my stay is extended for
furthersome
Correct your spelling
further
months
Use synonyms
. I look forward to your response. Yours sincerely, Rupinder Kaur

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task response
Task response: You answer the main points, but your reason does not fully match the task. The task says you cannot move in next month, but your letter says you want to stay longer in the flat. Write the situation more clearly.
task response
Task response: Say the move date more clearly. Give one clear time, like 'I think I can move in at the end of June.'
task response
Task response: Keep the tone polite and direct. 'I am writing to ask if I can move in later' is better for this task.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some parts are hard to follow because of grammar and word order errors. Use shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph should have one clear idea: reason, problem, new move time.
task response
Task response: You include a clear reason about your father and his health problem.
task response
Task response: The tone is polite, with a proper opening and closing.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter is divided into paragraphs, and this helps the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use linking words like 'thus' and 'so' to join ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to let you know that...
  • I am sorry for the change in plan.
  • due to an unexpected problem
  • I will not be able to move in on time
  • There has been a delay at work
  • a family problem has come up
  • I need to stay here for a little longer
  • I still want to rent the apartment
  • if possible, please keep the flat for me
  • I expect to move in by...
  • Thank you for your understanding
  • I look forward to hearing from you
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