IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You rent a flat with your friend who is moving out. It is too expensive for you to pay the rent alone.Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter: •explain the situation •describe why you would like to stay in this flat •ask the landlord if you can find another flatmate

Dear Mr Sharma, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 email to ask you about
to find a
Wrong verb form
finding
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 new
roomates
Use the right word
roommates
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 for me I am Gurwinder Singh,i want to infrom that everything in the flat is goods i have been living over here since
last
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 2 years
due to
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 which i have strong connections with
this
Linking Words
 flat its like a my own home for me but you
last
Linking Words
 month my flatesmates moved to another city for his better future so afterthat i was the only one who living here and its bit ardious for me to pay full rent of the apartment by myself ,rightnow i am part time student and most of my pay goes into grocerries and rent.
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 have only
few
Correct determiner usage
a little
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 money pending in my account
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will have to save for my
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 fee. I am requesting you to please find another roommate for me as soon as possible because
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 so difficult for me to pay the whole rent alone.
While
Linking Words
 putting ads of flat on
Correct article usage
the marketplace
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marketplace
Punctuation problem
marketplace,
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 please describe that no smoking
,
Correct word choice
or
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drinking
allow
Wrong verb form
is allowed
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 in the flat. Your Sincerely, Gurwinder Singh

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task response
Task response: Say all three points more clearly: your friend moved out, you want to stay because the flat feels like home and it is good for your study, and you ask if you can get a new flatmate.
task response
Task response: Use a polite letter style. Write simple lines like: I would be grateful if you could allow me to find another flatmate.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put your ideas in clear parts. First tell the problem, then say why you want to stay, then ask for help.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use full stops and simple link words like because, so, and, but. This will make your letter easier to follow.
task response
Task response: You do explain the main problem: you cannot pay the full rent alone.
task response
Task response: You give a real reason for staying: the flat feels like home.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start and end.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Most ideas are about one topic, so the reader can understand your main message.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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