Nowadays, many women are joining police and military forces. However, some people believe that these roles or jobs are not suitable for women. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, more and more
women
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are joining
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police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
and military forces. Some people think that these jobs are not suitable for
women
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. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion because
women
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are capable of performing these roles successfully.
Firstly
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,
women
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can have the same physical and mental abilities as
men
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.
For example
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, in many countries, female soldiers and
police
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officers are trained to meet the same standards as
men
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. They can run, carry heavy equipment, and make decisions in dangerous situations.
Therefore
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, it is not true that these jobs are only for
men
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.
Secondly
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,
women
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bring unique skills to these professions. They are often more patient and careful, which can help in investigations and in solving problems.
Also
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,
women
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in the
police
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force can deal with cases like domestic violence or child abuse more effectively because victims feel more comfortable talking to them. In conclusion, I believe
women
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are just as suitable as
men
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for
police
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and military jobs. Society should support them and not limit their opportunities because of gender.

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task response
Add one more clear idea in each body part.
task response
Use a more full example, not only one short one.
task response
Explain why your ideas are true in a deeper way.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like also, however, and for example with care.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part have one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Add a few more words to connect the end of one sentence to the next one.
task response
You answer the question clearly and you give your view.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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