IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the worker more. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is often argued that wealthy economies should be prohibited from recruiting highly qualified individuals from less affluent regions, as their home nations require
this
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 to expertis for domesting progress. In my eyes,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 completely disagree with
this
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 notion
due to
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 every individual deserves the right to pursue optimal career opportunities, and
such
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 migration is able to actually generate significant economic benefits for their native land The primary reason why
such
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 a ban is unjustified is that highly skilled labourers have the fundamental right to seek better working conditions and maximise their potential. In many developing lands, specialised workers often face limitations
such
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 as inadequate infrastructure, or
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of advanced technological tools necessary
their
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for their
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 fields.
For instance
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, a talented financial analyst from an emerging economy might migrate to a developed nation to gain access to advanced market data terminals and global corporate networks, which are often scarce in their local environment.
Therefore
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, restricting their mobility would not only violate their personal freedom but
also
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 severely stunt their personal growth
Furthermore
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, allowing professionals to work abroad can bring substantial economic advantages to their native region.
This
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 is primarily achieved through remittances, as expatriates frequently send a significant portion of their earnings back to their families, thereby boosting the local economy. To illustrate, the capital injected by overseas workers is often used to fund local businesses
,
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apply
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 or support education, which accelerates domestic development.
Consequently
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, rather than merely suffering from brain drain, developed land experiences a financial influx and a potential gain drain when these experts eventually return with global experience In conclusion, I firmly believe that wealthy economies should not be restricted from employing professionals from emerging economies. Not only do
such
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restrict
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restrictions restrict
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 the fundamental right of individuals to pursue career advancements, but they
also
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 deprive their local domestic economy of significant financial contributions and future skill transfers

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task response
Task response: Your answer is clear, but you should explain your ideas a bit more in each body part.
task response
Task response: Your example about the analyst is good, but you need one more clear and real example.
task response
Task response: You fully answer the question and your opinion is strong from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part structure: intro, 2 body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some link words are used well, but a few sentences are too long and not easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some word choice makes meaning less clear, so the flow becomes weaker in a few places.
task response
You clearly say that you disagree, and you keep this view all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea and stays on that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion matches your introduction well.
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