IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People
took
Verb problem
made
show examples
 a
decision
Use synonyms
 to travel less frequently in a year or stop travelling
congregatingly
Correct your spelling
altogether
. The advantages of
this
Linking Words
decision
Use synonyms
 are
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change and
health
Use synonyms
 problems
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
due to
Linking Words
 harmful
gases
Use synonyms
. The disadvantage is the loss to
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of the countries where people travel a lot. The first advantage
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is the
reduce
Replace the word
reduction of
 environmental pollution. The climate of
earth
Correct article usage
the Earth
show examples
 is changing drastically
due to
Linking Words
 the
gases
Use synonyms
 emitted by aeroplanes. When the fuel is
burnt
Punctuation problem
burnt,
show examples
 planes emit
gases
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example carn monoxide and nitrogen oxides. These
gases
Use synonyms
disturbs
Correct subject-verb agreement
disturb
show examples
 the ozone layer
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to which the temperature is rising. Reduction in flight results in a better environment. The second benefit is improvement is the
health
Use synonyms
 outcomes. The
gases
Use synonyms
 like nitrogen oxide and carbon
mono-oxide
Correct your spelling
monoxide
 are the reasons for the breathing problems in many patients. If people take
Use synonyms
decision
Correct article usage
the decision
show examples
 to fly only when it is necessary
consequently
Linking Words
 it will be
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
decision
Use synonyms
. Many
health
Use synonyms
 problems can be improved by
this
Linking Words
decision
Use synonyms
. The other side of the coin
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that if there is less international
travelling
Punctuation problem
travelling,
show examples
 it will greatly
affects
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
 the businesses. There will be a loss to
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of many countries which generate
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large revenues
due to
Linking Words
 tourists.
For example
Linking Words
, Greece is a destination for
honey moon
Correct your spelling
honeymoon
 trips. It is very popular among newly married
coupels
Correct your spelling
couples
due to
Linking Words
 its romantic environment. If the
coupels
Correct your spelling
couples
 or other tourist don't go
there
Punctuation problem
there,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 their
economy
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the benefits of
travelling
Punctuation problem
travelling,
show examples
 say
for instance
Linking Words
, better climate and improved
health
Use synonyms
 outweighs the disadvantages of
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
 loss.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to the main question in the first part and keep this view the same all through the essay.
task response
Explain why the good points are stronger than the bad points with one more clear reason.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and more fully linked to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a more smooth order and check that each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some are used in a wrong way or too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You include an example about Greece to support one point.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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