IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

nowadays
Fix capitalization
Nowadays
show examples
, many famous
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people,
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as actors or
sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
 persons
causing
Wrong verb form
, cause
show examples
 problems and benefits. Where I
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
 believe that there is both negetive and
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 side. Which I will explain in my
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
. First of all,
numorus
Correct your spelling
numerous
 actors and
sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
 persons are doing many
advertising
Replace the word
advertisements
 about some products without knowing
Use synonyms
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 completely
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
 cause with users to have some kind of disappointment when
Use synonyms
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
not
Verb problem
does not
show examples
 work as
aspected
Correct your spelling
expected
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Actress
Correct article usage
an actress
show examples
 advertising
about
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 fair skin
product
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
claims
show examples
 to
be
Verb problem
help be
show examples
 fair in 7 days when audiance try that
Use synonyms
product
Punctuation problem
product,
show examples
 it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 not efective as shown in marketing
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will be
disapointing
Correct your spelling
disappointing
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 famous
antity
Correct your spelling
people
 donate from their
earning
Replace the word
earnings
 to help poor kids and people.
For Instance
Linking Words
, by earning from doing
advertising
Punctuation problem
advertising,
show examples
 they spend some amount to protect poor
childrens
Check wording
children's
show examples
 education and provide books and
utincils
Correct your spelling
utensils
as well as
Linking Words
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 to
homeless
Correct article usage
the homeless
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, Famous person misguide by promoting useless products at the same time
by
Correct word choice
, while
show examples
earning
Punctuation problem
earning,
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
take
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a
part in crucial role to save
Correct word order
crucial role in fighting
show examples
 poverty. Because of
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 I believe that they have
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 side
along with
Linking Words
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say if fame has more good points or more bad points, and keep this view clear from start to end.
task response
Give fuller ideas. Your points are good, but they need more detail to show why they matter.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct. This will make your answer stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas more smooth. Some parts jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph opening lines. Make each one clearly show the main idea of that part.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, such as first, also, however, and in the end.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both good and bad sides of being famous.
task response
You include examples about ads and help for poor people, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You separate your ideas into paragraphs, which makes the essay easier to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: