It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives, do you think the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

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It is undeniable that it is significant for individuals to take
risks
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, both in their
career
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careers
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and personal
life
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lives
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.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that sometimes taking
risks
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is not
for
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in
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a
person
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's
benefit
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best interest
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to risk one's job, study, or even one's future, others argue against
this
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concept.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both viewpoints and express my opinion. On the one hand, the first primary advantage is that it allows a
person
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to discover new things and opportunities, which is crucial to encourage individuals to leave their comfort zone.
In other words
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, taking
risks
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may contribute to improving a
person
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's career or lifestyle.
Moreover
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, people are more likely to receive a promotion and move to a higher position in their professional lives when they work hard and take
risks
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when needed.
For instance
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, if an individual works hard and
risks
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his profession to accomplish tasks faster and more effectively,
as a result
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, his manager might promote him and give him a high salary because he is thinking outside the box.
On the other hand
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, taking
risks
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may cause unstable income in the long run, or perhaps a
person
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might get fired. To illustrate, not all directors are the same, and not all of them will accept taking
risks
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, because they are looking for their own benefits, and they may act harshly just to protect their income and reputation from anything that would threaten their companies.
Furthermore
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, in some cases, especially in personal lives, taking
risks
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is the worst choice, because if a
person
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is not aware enough,
he
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they
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might hurt
himself
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themselves
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unintentionally.
For example
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, if an individual works out at the gym and has been used to lifting 10 kg, and suddenly he lifts 20 kg, in
this
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case, he might injure his muscles. In conclusion, there are no straightforward answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I strongly believe that taking
risks
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is better than living boring lives, as it may open up many doors in the future.

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task response
Give a more clear answer in the first paragraph. Say if advantages are more than disadvantages.
task response
Write more about why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Add one more clear and real example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part structure, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are used well, like On the one hand, Moreover, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are too long and a bit hard to follow. Make them shorter.
coherence and cohesion
Some points need better support. For example, the work risk example is not fully clear.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your opinion at the end.
task response
You use examples about work and gym life, so your ideas are not empty.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order and easy to see.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunity
  • growth
  • innovation
  • achievement
  • comfort zone
  • security
  • failure
  • success
  • uncertainty
  • challenges
  • decision-making
  • courage
  • calculated risks
  • consequences
  • fear
  • regret
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