IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 modern
technlogies
Correct your spelling
technologies
 are taking over different sectors.
While
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 some
people
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argure
Correct your spelling
argue
 that it has brought
people
Use synonyms
 together,
others
Use synonyms
 contend that it has driven us apart. Personally, I am more inclined towards the former view. On the one hand, those who believe
technology
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 has divided us are often heavy
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 of the
technology
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. They are using
technology
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 more than they should and spending less time with family and friends.
For instance
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,
Young
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the young
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 generation
rather
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, rather
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 than going out and playing with
freinds
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friends
,
they
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apply
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mostly prefer sitting
home
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at home
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 and playing games.
As a
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result
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result,
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 their daily interaction with
human
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humans
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 has reduced.
On the other hand
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, the primary reason
of
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
believing
Wrong verb form
believe
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technology
Use synonyms
 has
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthened
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 their bonds with
others
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 is that they do not
over use
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overuse
technology
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.
For example
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,
people
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 talk to their family and friends on
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
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and
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, and
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 they meet them as well.
Furthermore
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, they try to have human interactions daily and spend time with
others
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.
Due to
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 which their bonds with
others
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has
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have
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 increased. In conclusion, overuse of
technology
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 can create distance between
others
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but
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, but
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 if used
properly
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properly,
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 it can
stenthen
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strengthen
 their bond. I firmly believe modern
technology
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 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 together.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Your view is clear, but each side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Give more clear ideas in each body part. Some points are too short.
task response
Use more direct examples. Your example about young people is relevant, but it can be more specific.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some lines feel simple and a bit broken.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with one clear reason and one clear example.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the start and at the end.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You used 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' well.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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