IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tution fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extend do you agree?

The universities around the world are getting more expensive
,
Punctuation problem
;
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therefore
Linking Words
,
there are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
many
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 can not go to study in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
Use synonyms
. The question is, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe the
university
Use synonyms
 should be free for the
student
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I believe the
university
Use synonyms
 has to be free
,
Punctuation problem
;
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therefore
Linking Words
, there
many
Verb problem
are many
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people
Use synonyms
 who have good score,
however
Linking Words
,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
 can not afford the cost. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to introduce my opinion and
provides
Wrong verb form
provide
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 many examples that support my opinion. First of all, there
many
Verb problem
are many
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intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
 students
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, they do not have enough
money
Use synonyms
 to go to the
university
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
. Therefore
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, the
university
Use synonyms
 should be free and give the poor
people
Use synonyms
 an opportunity to improve their life and their family
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend is
verry
Correct your spelling
very
 smart
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, he could not go to the
university
Use synonyms
 because
his
Change preposition
of his
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 financial condition
Punctuation problem
. Instead
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instead
Linking Words
 of going to the
university
Use synonyms
, he went to work in a simple supermarket.
However
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.
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instead
Fix capitalization
Instead
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 of charging
money
Use synonyms
, they should raise the admission requirements.
Linking Words
as
Fix capitalization
As
show examples
 a result, they will be able to accept only intellegent
student
Use synonyms
instead
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 of rich
Use synonyms
student
Check wording
students
show examples
.
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
These kinds
show examples
 of decisions will give a real opportunity to all the community
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
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 of
the
Correct word choice
whether they
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people
Use synonyms
 who have
money
Use synonyms
 or the
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have
money
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Dubai, all the schools there are free
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, they require high
resutl
Correct your spelling
results
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school. In conclusion, I would argue that the
university
Use synonyms
 has to be free in order to give an opportunity to all the levels in the community,
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
 the
universiy
Correct your spelling
university
 is not
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
, it is a place to produce talent

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task response
Answer all parts of the question more clearly. Say why free university is good, but also show that you know the other side.
task response
Make your main idea very clear in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your friend is a good example, but one more real or clear example would help.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, but some ideas are joined in a weak way. Use full stops more often and do not join too many ideas in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Words like 'however' and 'therefore' are used too much and sometimes in the wrong place.
coherence and cohesion
Make paragraphing cleaner. One paragraph should have one main idea.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view in the essay.
task response
You include examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal opportunity
  • higher education
  • educated and skilled workforce
  • student loans
  • graduate
  • debt burden
  • incentivize
  • pursue
  • educational attainment
  • knowledge-based economy
  • social mobility
  • low-income students
  • socioeconomic status
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • skilled labor
  • overcrowded classrooms
  • quality of education
  • public funding
  • higher taxes
  • reallocation of resources
  • essential services
  • mixed model
What to do next:
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