At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantagee.

2.5 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

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Introduction

Nowadays, many

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

prefer to have more than two

childrens

Replace the word

children

and leave saperatly

this

Linking Words

cause more young adults than old

age

Use synonyms

in one family

Punctuation problem

show examples

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more advantages than disadvantages

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

Fix capitalization

show examples

will explain in my

eassay

Correct your spelling

essay

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

having

Verb problem

being

show examples

young

age

Use synonyms

crusial to do house work easy and

conveniant

Correct your spelling

conveniently

For example

Linking Words

, moving heavy stuff or house cleaning. In contras,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

is possible that

older's

Check wording

older people

show examples

have some kind of

dieases

Correct your spelling

diseases

life long

Correct your spelling

lifelong

pain in

knees

Correct determiner usage

their knees

show examples

or somewhere else

this

Linking Words

cause them to

Verb problem

apply

show examples

work

slow

Rephrase

slowly

show examples

and not

able

Verb problem

be able

show examples

to lift any heavy

item

Fix the agreement mistake

items

show examples

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

Linking Words

, they have some health problems which required to be care

where

Correct word choice

, whereas

show examples

young

have

Check wording

people have

show examples

good health condition which allow them to be active at any time.

Body paragraph 3

However

Linking Words

, old

age

Use synonyms

have planty of

experiance

Correct your spelling

experience

which helps youngers.

For instance

Linking Words

, elders having knowledge and shared to youngers make their work easier and faster.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they will educate

childrens

Replace the word

children

about their past

experiances

Correct your spelling

experiences

and help them to avoid

such

Linking Words

mistakes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

older's

Check wording

older people

show examples

teach them about relationships and

value

Correct article usage

the value

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

them

show examples

to make stronger emotions with others.

Conclusion

To sum up

Linking Words

, I

personaly beleive

Correct your spelling

personally believe

that

having

Verb problem

being

show examples

younger is more

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

than old

age

Use synonyms

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

both have their own value in

family

Correct article usage

the family

show examples

older

Punctuation problem

; older

show examples

have

Check wording

people have

show examples

knowledge and experiance where younger

have

Check wording

people have

show examples

good health and stamina.

desaiishu1221

Apr 12, 2026

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task response

Answer the full question more clearly. Say why the good points are stronger than the bad points.

task response

Add at least one clear bad point of having more young people in a country, not only in one family.

task response

Use ideas about the whole country, like work, money, schools, and care for old people.

task response

Give fuller support for each main point. Explain how and why each point matters.

coherence and cohesion

Make one clear main idea in each body part, then add support and one example.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with easy words like first, also, however, and as a result.

coherence and cohesion

Keep the focus the same. Do not move from country population to only one family.

coherence and cohesion

Write topic sentences that match the question, and end with a short clear conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You have both an introduction and a conclusion.

task response

You try to compare young people and old people.

task response

You use some examples to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

There is a basic paragraph shape in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

212 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

young adults
older people
working-age population
job market
economic growth
pay tax
public services
new ideas
start a business
use technology
unemployment
low pay
social problems
education system
job training
housing pressure
skilled workers
support the economy
long-term benefit
outweigh the drawbacks

What to do next:

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantagee.

Moden children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevelent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important to teach art to children? Do you think adolescent should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we sould replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.