IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that video films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

Some are at the belief that
education
Use synonyms
 should change
from
Remove the redundancy
apply
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from the classic method of books to
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 digital form of
education
Use synonyms
.
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 sit on the fence on
this
Linking Words
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 both agree and disagree with it.
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 one side of
this
Linking Words
 conversation
having
Punctuation problem
, having
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classic
Correct article usage
a classic
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 form of
education
Use synonyms
 from books is a solid and proven method of teaching and
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 for kids
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
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 has been done for
hundereds
Correct your spelling
hundreds
 of years and
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 effective in keeping the brain in a developing state, and it will always be a great source of learning. It will
also
Linking Words
 allow kids to be more disconnected from computers and phones cause of the
digial
Correct your spelling
digital
 age and will help them have some cognitive
funtions
Correct your spelling
functions
 progress as well. And on the side of technologies and media, since the new age of digital and social media it is of up most importance for kids and teens to have a technological understanding of computers and learn how it can be used in an
education
Use synonyms
 environment so they will be up to date with the times ahead, since the boom of tech in the early 2010 sources of informations
such
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 as Youtube videos and other soical media sites that focus on videos have been a great well of knowlage for everyone, and with the ease of access it is the pefect form of educational content and material to
further
Linking Words
 develop anyone for anything. in conclution i am
at
Change preposition
of
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 the belief that both
from
Use the right word
forms
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 of
education
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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this
Linking Words
case
Punctuation problem
case,
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 a more
analoge
Correct your spelling
analogue
 and digital
method
Punctuation problem
method,
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 can be of great help for the future development of any individual and can lead to great progress in their growth into
adult hood
Correct your spelling
adulthood
, so forms of
education
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as videos and
digial
Correct your spelling
digital
 content should not be ignored
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
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 they should be embraced and cherished

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this view clear in all parts.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support each main idea. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they need more detail to show why they are true.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words between ideas and paragraphs, so the essay is easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea only. This will help the reader follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some lines are hard to understand and this breaks the flow.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'on one side' and 'in conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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