IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmer to protect the environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Salling
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Selling
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food
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 is
one
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 of the most successful business and there is a
competation
Correct your spelling
competition
 between local and imported products in the
food
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 trade.
However
Linking Words
, each of them has its
advantages
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 and disadvantages. Some people argue that we should get our
food
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 from a local farmer.
This
Linking Words
 leads to an important question
: do
Punctuation problem
: Do
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 the
advantages
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 of local
food
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 outweigh its disadvantages? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the answer from my perspective. Buying
food
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 from local sources has numerous
advantages
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,
one
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 of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is enhancing regional businesses.
Therefore
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, the income of local farmers and
food
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 businessmen will dramaticaly will increase
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 will be reflected
on
Change preposition
in
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 the domestic economy.
For example
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, local poultry farms are
one
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 of the major projects which have significant financial impacts
as a result
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 of poultry export to other countries or from local sales.
Additionally
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, it has benefits on the environment because farming is
one
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the
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of the
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 strategies that prevent desertification and
also
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 helps in decreasing the tempreatures espicially in summer , by increasing the green landscapes.
However
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, buying
food
Use synonyms
 from local farms has some drawbacks as well. complete , depending on regional resources for our neutrion might limit our neutrional options. Some plants require certain ecosystems to growe
therefore
Linking Words
, it will be difficult to plant them , and the only way to have them is through export trading for these seasonal plants. Going back to our question, I believe that countries should have their local productions and exports as well, since they complement each other in maintaining the citizines neutrional needs. So, in my opinion, the
advantages
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 of local
food
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 markets do not outweigh the disadvantages, and we still need to buy the unavailable items from foreign countries. In summary, the internal
food
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 market is important to ensure our self-sufficiency.
However
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, it is not enough to provide all our necessities.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly in each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each paragraph.
task response
Use one clear example and explain how it supports your point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like also, however, for example, and so.
task response
Develop the disadvantage point more fully, not only in one or two lines.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point.
task response
You answered both sides of the question and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs to separate ideas.
task response
You gave an example about poultry farms.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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