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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the global demand for different textile fibers between 1980 and 2015

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The line graph illustrates information about the global
demand
Use synonyms
 for different textiles between the years 1980 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
clearly
Verb problem
is clearly
show examples
 evident that
polyester
Use synonyms
 and
cotton
Use synonyms
 were preferred more compared to
cellulosic
Use synonyms
 and
wool
Use synonyms
 over the
period
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
polyester
Use synonyms
,
cotton
Use synonyms
 and
cellulosic
Use synonyms
 saw a growth in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
demand
Use synonyms
,
wool
Use synonyms
 experienced a decline in the
later
Use the right word
latter
show examples
period
Use synonyms
. In
Intial
Correct determiner usage
the initial
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 ,
cotton
Use synonyms
 was the most popular textile globally
having
Punctuation problem
, having
show examples
 a
demand
Use synonyms
 of more than 10
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 1980.
This
Linking Words
 growth was surpassed by
polyester
Use synonyms
 in the year 2000 ,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 around 30
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 of
polyester
Use synonyms
 and almost 25
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 of
cotton
Use synonyms
 were sold.
Polyester
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 remained the
highest selling
Correct your spelling
highest-selling
 textile till the end of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
, reaching more than 60
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2015. Meanwhile, there was a slight increase in the
demand
Use synonyms
 for
cotton
Use synonyms
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 30
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2015. The
demand
Use synonyms
 for
wool
Use synonyms
 and
cellulosic
Use synonyms
 were not more than approximately 5
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 until 2000.
This
Linking Words
 figure
then
Linking Words
 increased for
cellulosic
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 in 2015 at 10
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 that of
wool
Use synonyms
 declined to around 2
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words demand, polyester, cotton, cellulosic, wool, period, million, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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