IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

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The pie chart and line graph illustrate what mainly uses
electricity
Use synonyms
 and what is the demand in England between
winter
Use synonyms
 and summer.
Overall
Linking Words
, the line graph shows how much
Use synonyms
use units of
Correct word order
electricity is used
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 in England. In
winter
Use synonyms
, we see its remaining stability and
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of the period. It is clearly seen that
using
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
more
electricity
Use synonyms
in
Verb problem
is used in
show examples
winter
Use synonyms
 than in summer. The pie chart demonstrates what isused
electricity
Use synonyms
. Large parts
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 for heating rooms and water, which is a significant difference from others. Line graphs provide people who
use
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 in the morning, approximately between 30000 and 40000, and
then
Linking Words
middle
Change preposition
in the middle
show examples
 of
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
using
Punctuation problem
, using
show examples
 less
electricity
Use synonyms
,
after that
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 they remain stable
6
Change preposition
for 6
show examples
hours
except
Punctuation problem
, except
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 22 or 23
in o clock
Correct your spelling
o'clock
 in
winter
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in summer
Use synonyms
electricity
Punctuation problem
, electricity
show examples
 demands
less
Verb problem
are less
show examples
 than in
winter
Use synonyms
.
Pie
Correct article usage
The pie
show examples
 chart shows what shows the
use
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
. Large parts
use
Use synonyms
 52.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for heating rooms,17.5
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
 of people
use
Use synonyms
 ovens and kettles. Vacuum
cleans
Replace the word
cleaners
 and TV users
almost
Verb problem
are almost
show examples
 the same.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, winter, use with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demand for electricity
  • typical days
  • line graph
  • seasonal variation
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • exceeds
  • units of electricity
  • distribution of electricity usage
  • heating
  • water heating
  • combined total
  • major uses
  • lighting
  • ovens
  • kettles
  • washing machines
  • miscellaneous appliances
  • electronics
  • total usage
  • account for
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