IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Today
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 many
ways
Punctuation problem
ways,
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Use synonyms
people dressing
Check wording
people's
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 sense
is
Change preposition
of dressing is
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been induced
Verb problem
influenced
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 by the trending fashions in
global
Correct article usage
the global
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 market. As
people
Use synonyms
 follow
influncers
Correct your spelling
influencers
 on
social-media
Correct word choice
social media
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and
Punctuation problem
and,
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 they tend to follow there life style.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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people
Use synonyms
 adapt
there
Use the right word
their
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 way of dressing. I think
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
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 a negative impact because they start wasting money and eventually
this
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 leads
to get
Verb problem
apply
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them to get
under
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into
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 debt.
This
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also
Linking Words
 creates
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
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 of being
enferior amoung
Correct your spelling
inferior among
 the individuals.
Influncers
Correct your spelling
Influencers
 on social media are
been
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
followed globally, and
people
Use synonyms
 follow
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 styles.
This
Linking Words
 creates the need in
people
Use synonyms
 to
also
Linking Words
 adopt
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 fashion, which might be very expensive to have. They start spending more of
there
Use the right word
their
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 money on getting the style
that is
Linking Words
 not necessary
and
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, and
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consequently
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 leads them
have
Change preposition
to have
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 a bad spending habit. The bad
managemnt
Correct your spelling
management
 of spending the money will lead the
people
Use synonyms
 to get
under
Change preposition
into
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 debt because
people
Use synonyms
 do not think before buying
Linking Words
For
Punctuation problem
. For
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 example younger generation face dificulty in managing
there
Use the right word
their
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 finances as compared to
there
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their
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 ancestors.
This
Linking Words
 has a strong negative effect on society as many
people
Use synonyms
 who can not afford to adapt
the
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to the
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trending
Replace the word
latest trends
 often
fashion
Verb problem
apply
show examples
feel low
esteem
Check wording
self-esteem
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say clearly why world fashion is strong, and why it is bad overall.
task response
Give one more main reason, such as online shops, ads, or famous brands.
task response
Use a real and clear example. Your example about young people is too general.
coherence and cohesion
Write one clear topic sentence at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, so, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Finish with a short conclusion that repeats your main view.
task response
You gave a clear opinion: you think this trend is negative.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and body paragraphs.
task response
You stayed on the topic of fashion and social media.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global
  • fashion
  • clothes
  • dress
  • wear
  • look
  • style
  • brand
  • label
  • shop
  • price
  • money
  • media
  • ads
  • post
  • like
  • world
  • culture
  • express
  • expression
  • culture
  • work
  • jobs
  • earth
  • environment
  • press
  • pressure
  • spend
  • buy
  • design
  • trend
  • brand
  • celeb
  • celebrity
  • internet
  • online
  • shop
  • social
  • media
  • fashion
  • trend
  • idea
  • choice
  • fit
  • color
  • color
  • cloth
  • fabric
  • hand
  • care
  • harm
  • good
  • bad
  • benefit
  • loss
  • balance
  • relation
  • impact
  • effect
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