Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
while
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our
technology
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is advancing
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crime
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, crime
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rates
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are falling
also
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,
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;
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furthermore
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, it is easier to
cath
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catch
possible suspects or prevent crimes. In my opinion, if we put
surveilling
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surveillance
devices on streets which have high
crime
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rates
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, eventually
crime
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rates
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will reduce.
However
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,
citizens
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can feel uncomfortable because some authority is always watching them. On the one hand, authorities can reduce
crime
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with making surveilling systems.
Technology
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is improving day by day.
In these
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These
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days artificial
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intellegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
is part of our
lifes
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lives
.
Nevertheless
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, it is not
trustable
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trustworthy
show examples
technology
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yet.
However
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, some governments started to put
camers
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cameras
which
integrated
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are integrated
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with artificial
intellegence
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which is working faster than
every
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any
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human. Authorities can use
this
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technology
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to detect potential crimes in seconds.
Additionally
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, image detection tools are significantly affective on detection items which used on commit crimes. To give an example, there is one image detection tool called You Only Look Once (YOLO)
it
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. It
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is a really popular tool, furhtermore, it can detect guns,
knifes
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knives
, fights, and car plates in seconds
which
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, which
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is impossible
to human
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for humans to
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do.
On the other hand
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, when
citizens
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are being watched
regularly
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regularly,
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they can feel uncomfortable. Being watched
on
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apply
show examples
everywhere it is really
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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people develop anxiety. To give an example, China made
this
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surveilling
Replace the word
surveillance
system years ago.
Despite
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Although
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their
citizens
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feel
comfortable
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comfortable,
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they were very stressed because
of
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the
show examples
government
watching
Verb problem
was watching
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them in
their
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apply
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every
steps
Fix the agreement mistake
step
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.
In addition
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, the
chinese
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Chinese
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government was giving social points to every
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citizens
Fix the agreement mistake
citizen
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who
are live
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lives
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in
china
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China
show examples
and marking them with these points. In conclusion, governments can reduce
crime
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rates
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by creating
camera
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a camera
show examples
system with artificial
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intellegence
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intelligence
integration
,
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;
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however
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, neither cameras nor
artifical
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artificial intelligence
intellegence
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are
trustable
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trustworthy
show examples
systems.
Additionally
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,
feeling
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the feeling
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of being watched
in
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apply
show examples
everywhere is really stressful.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this view clear in all parts.
task response
Add one more clear reason for your view, and explain how it helps lower crime.
task response
Use examples with clear detail. Some examples now are too general or not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more clear at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Some words like however, nevertheless, and additionally are used too much or in the wrong place.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. A few parts feel hard to follow.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples like AI cameras and China to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • high-tech surveillance
  • facial recognition systems
  • omnipresence
  • deter
  • digital forensics
  • ballistic testing
  • revolutionize
  • exonerate
  • root causes
  • social inequality
  • invasion of privacy
  • civil liberties
  • surveillance
  • data collection
  • negative implications
  • cybercrime
  • hacking
  • identity theft
  • online fraud
  • cybersecurity
  • vulnerabilities
  • exploit
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