IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, a growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 are choosing
fly
Verb problem
to fly
show examples
 less or stop flying altogether because of environmental concerns. In my opinion, in short-term
this
Linking Words
 development can
damage
Use synonyms
 individuals and businesses
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation can reduce and heal our green environment
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I believe that positive effects outweigh the disadvantages. To start with,
air way
Check wording
airways
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 are
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 part of
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 economy. If
people
Use synonyms
 start to fly less, these
companies
Use synonyms
 will lose money
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
, they will start to lose customers. When
this
Linking Words
 situation
happens
Punctuation problem
happens,
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 will start to reduce
flights
Use synonyms
; if
companies
Use synonyms
 start to reduce their
flights
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 who work or study will be significantly affected by
this
Linking Words
 change. As a student who
study
Correct subject-verb agreement
studies
show examples
 in
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 maybe I cannot see my family enough
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 an employee who work in abroad
country
Check wording
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 cannot see their family.
neither
Fix capitalization
Neither
show examples
 students who study abroad nor employees will be happy. To continue with,
flights
Use synonyms
giving
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 huge
damage
Use synonyms
 to our environment, but some
flights
Use synonyms
 are necessary
some
Punctuation problem
, some
show examples
 not. If
companies
Use synonyms
 reduce unnecessary
flights
Use synonyms
, it will reduce
Use synonyms
damage
Correct article usage
the damage
show examples
 which air way is giving.
In addition
Linking Words
, governments must ban private usage of
air way
Check wording
airways
show examples
 because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is unnecessary. To give an example,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 2026 American Football final was played
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
called
Verb problem
is called
show examples
by
Change preposition
the
show examples
 Super Bowl. When
Super
Correct article usage
the Super
show examples
 Bowl
finished
Punctuation problem
finished,
show examples
 all
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
show examples
people
Use synonyms
turned
Verb problem
left
show examples
 their homes
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their private jets; on
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
news
Punctuation problem
news,
show examples
 everyone
complain
Wrong verb form
complained
show examples
 about how they damaged
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our world. If they used public planes to turn their homes, our world would not
damaged
Verb problem
be damaged
show examples
 like
this
Linking Words
. In conclusion, going anywhere
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 plane is easier than
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 with other vehicles
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, flying with private jets are uncessary luxury
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it really
Use synonyms
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
show examples
 our environment. In my opinion, if governments
prohibition
Replace the word
prohibit
 flying with private jets, our problem with flying will be solved.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more about the bad side for people and business, and more about why the good side for the earth is stronger.
task response
Make your main opinion very clear in the introduction and keep the same idea in all body parts.
task response
Use one clear example and explain how it supports your point. The Super Bowl example is interesting, but it needs a little more detail and a clearer link to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas more clearly. One body part can be about disadvantages, and one body part can be about environmental benefits.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'in addition' should join ideas in a smooth and correct way.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea, then add 2 or 3 supporting sentences.
task response
You answered the question and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used an example to support your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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