IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that governments should spend more money on public transportation. Others believe that building more roads is a better solution to traffic problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many people argue that the government should spend more money on public transportation.H
However
Linking Words
, others say that building more
roads
Use synonyms
 is the best option to deal with
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I think building more
roads
Use synonyms
 and bridges is the better solution. I will discuss both views. 
To begin
Linking Words
 with, building more highways and bridges will solve a major problem.
The
Correct article usage
This
show examples
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 building more bridges can help improve
traffic
Use synonyms
 flow across the city.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion will decrease.
For example
Linking Words
,
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams can lead to accidents, and these accidents can be avoided if there is more than one bridge. 
However
Linking Words
, public transportation can be a temporary solution, and spending money on new buses and modern trains may not solve the problem.
For example
Linking Words
, in modern cities like Tokyo, there are many buses, trains, and taxis, but
traffic
Use synonyms
 is still slow.
As a result
Linking Words
, trains are often crowded, and the streets of Tokyo are still full of
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams. In conclusion,
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion can be solved by thinking outside the box. In my opinion, we can solve
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 building new
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 existing
roads
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about roads, but the public transport side is short.
task response
Give a clearer opinion in the middle and keep it the same to the end.
task response
Add one more clear example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are basic. Use simple linking words well, like however, therefore, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar and word mistakes because they make some parts hard to follow.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has basic paragraphing and easy to see main parts.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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