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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

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Nowadays, it has become increasingly common for family members to eat meals separately rather than together.
Although
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this
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 trend offers more convenience for individuals, I partly believe that it has more essential drawbacks. On the one hand, young adults, especially teenagers, do not commonly participate in family lunches
due to
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 the development of technology. Since the technology is so advanced in social medias which created more opportunities for youngsters to order meals from online restaurants. So, they would prefer to experience more about the quality in these eating places.
Furthermore
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, restaurants often advertise the undeniable dishes with alluring photos, and a lot of discounts for children.
This
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 brings about the idea that eating out could be a chance for young people to widen their knowledge about the cuisine of other countries and places.
On the other hand
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, there are some families whose young adults spend their time building their careers and earning more money in other cities or countries , who might not have enough time to have lunch together.
However
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,
such
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 families would not oppose spending more time together on special occasions,
such
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 as the New Year and others.
Besides
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, sharing feelings in the family circle is just wonderful, and every one fell peaceful. In conclusion, a family meal at home can bring enormous meaning and feelings for each family member.
That is
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 why it is more necessary for both young adults and teenagers to participate in family lunch without any excuse.

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task response
Write about the given topic only. Your essay talks about family meals, but the task asks about living with no face-to-face contact.
task response
Give a clear opinion on the main question and keep this opinion the same through the whole essay.
task response
Add main ideas that directly answer the task, such as online shopping, online work, and online communication.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea for each body paragraph and explain it with a clear reason and simple example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with words like First, Also, However, and As a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence links. Some sentences do not connect well, so the meaning is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to show both sides before your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, such as On the one hand, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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