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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, everything works with the
internet
Use synonyms
, from payment to interacting with relatives.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend has some negative effects, I believe that,
overall
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, it is a positive development. The negative effect of
internet
Use synonyms
 usage is related to one member of
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
. Older members of society find it complicated to live with the
internet
Use synonyms
, because they haven’t seen these technologies before. Another issue relating to
this
Linking Words
 problem is that, unless you can use your phone, you can’t utilise the
internet
Use synonyms
 either. Because
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 lack of knowledge of using cutting-edge technologies leads to unwanted situations.
For example
Linking Words
, in Uzbekistan, 70% of elderly individuals are not able to transfer money by using their payment apps.
This
Linking Words
 leads to burnout, stress and confusion.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these technologies are viable for the younger generation. Since
this
Linking Words
 is developing day by day, many individuals are living in comfort. Back in 2010,
the time
Check wording
apply
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when the technology had not improved as currently,
people
Use synonyms
 were used to carrying their cash with them to purchase
,
Punctuation problem
. They
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 had to write an email to each other
,
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;
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 on the whole, they lived in a situation that can’t be hard to imagine right now.
Additionally
Linking Words
, nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 can easily get the information that they desire through AI. AI has become one part of life
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it can help us in any field, whether it is related to medication or education. In general, it is our second hand or personal assistant. If there were no technological advancements,
people
Use synonyms
 still would be living in a harsh lifestyle In conclusion,
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
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 of technology is absolutely helping us positively, as it creates comfortability to humanity, but it is slightly negative to a specific group of
people
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, maybe
Punctuation problem
. Maybe
show examples
 in the next 10 years, every member of society will definitely be adapted to it

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task response
Give a more direct answer to the question in the first paragraph and keep this clear in all body paragraphs.
task response
Explain your main ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
task response
Use examples that clearly match the question about shopping, work, and communication without face-to-face contact.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link sentences more smoothly. Some parts feel too long or unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph development. A few ideas are repeated or not fully connected.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You include both sides before giving your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Basic linking words like 'although', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion' are used.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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