IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

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In
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 number of counties students are motivated to travel or work for a
year
Use synonyms
 from ending hight school to starting studies at university. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discus benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 opinion. On the one hand, when young
people
Use synonyms
 choose
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 so-called
gap
Use synonyms
 years, they get a significant amount of upsides. First of all,
this
Linking Words
 decision is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 opportunity for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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. Teenagers can go
a
Change preposition
on a
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long trip to another
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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 if they
only
Rephrase
apply
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want.
Due to
Linking Words
 constant studies, long-distance travel is often not available for
student
Check wording
students
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, so
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 is a good chance. The second one
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 have some time to choose their future profession. It is commonly believed that when children finishing hight school, they are often unable to decide on their profession quickly, so they need
Use synonyms
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
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year
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
year
Use synonyms
-long break may cause some difficulties. The first drawback is that young
people
Use synonyms
 just waste their time. Without studies at
university
Add a comma
university,
show examples
 they can lose the motivation and discipline in the future.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
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 can negatively affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
future academic perspectives. The next one is that taking a
gap
Use synonyms
 can lead to a sense of isolation. If students do not
continues
Wrong verb form
continue
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 their educational
process
Punctuation problem
process,
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 they can lose friends and stay more isolated and feel disconnected and less engaged, making it harder to return to academic life. In the light of these facts,
Use synonyms
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some upsides and downsides. For
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 category
Punctuation problem
, apples
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apples that
Check wording
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can travel
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and have enough time to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 their university. Regarding the
disadvantages
Add a comma
disadvantages,
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 it is losing motivation and discipline
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 isolated
becouse o
Correct your spelling
because of
 losing school friends.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Write a little more about why a gap year is good and why it is bad.
task response
Use clear examples. For example, say what kind of work or travel can help a young person.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow. Put one main point in one part, then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like on the one hand, on the other hand, first, second, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that every sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts now feel broken or unclear.
task response
You answered both advantages and disadvantages, so you followed the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly clear: good points first, then bad points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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