IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European nation from 2004 to 2018

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The chart demonstrates the employer acceptance for five distinct hospitals in a European country between 2004 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it’s clearly seen that the four most popular
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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, namely, Fortsmith, Adlin, Stanton,
Correct word choice
and Bradley
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Bradley
Punctuation problem
Bradley,
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 observed
a
Correct article usage
an
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 increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hospital
admission
Check wording
admissions
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,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 index witnessed a significant decrease
through
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the given period of
time
Use synonyms
 in the Oxley Hospital. Looking at the chart in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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detail, the Bradley Hospital started out to accept 200 applicants
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 the initial period
and
Punctuation problem
,
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this
Linking Words
 pointer soared to 250 in 2012,
then
Linking Words
 dropped to just under 250 in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
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 two years and climbed to 270 in the ultimate
time
Use synonyms
. The Fortsmith Hospital accounted for 180 person in the beginning of
time
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 indicator reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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210 after six years, before
went
Wrong verb form
going
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 down to 190
next
Change preposition
for the next
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 two
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 and rose to 200
in
Change preposition
at
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 the end of
time
Use synonyms
. The proportion of the Adlin Hospital consisted of 120 in 2004 and showed a dramatic increase within the timeframe and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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250 in 2018.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the figure for the Stanton Hospital was under
the
Correct article usage
apply
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100
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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this
Linking Words
 ratio went up gradually and stayed 150 in 2012 before slightly
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
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 to 125 in 2014
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 in the preliminary
stage
Change preposition
At this stage
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Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
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 percentage stood at 150.In terms of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the lowest progress was recorded in the Oxley Hospital,
which
Correct pronoun usage
where
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 the index of
appliers
Correct your spelling
applicants
 stood at 240 in the initial stage and sharply declined to 100 towards the end of the period.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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