IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

More and more people buy a wide range of electrical household goods like televisions, microwave ovens, and rice cookers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, a huge
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
utilize
Change the spelling
utilise
show examples
 a vast number of electrical
household
Check wording
household appliances
show examples
 utilities
such
Linking Words
 as television, microwave and rice cookers. In
this
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 essay, I will touch on both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 sides of
this
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 situation. In recent developments, electronic technologies
make
Wrong verb form
have made
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people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 easy.
For example
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, a
group
Correct article usage
A group
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 don’t have enough
time
Use synonyms
 for cooking because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they have
fast-paced
Correct article usage
a fast-paced
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 lifestyle in a
day
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 tools give a chance doing house works wihtout efforless
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it leads to saving plenty of
time
Use synonyms
 within a
day
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, modern household technologies have lots of functionalities
which it provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
that provide
show examples
 us
using them up
Verb problem
apply
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with less effort
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it has understandable
instruction
Check wording
instructions
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means that everyone can exploit
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 advantages and comprehend these instructions easily.
On the other hand
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, using electrical
houselhold
Correct your spelling
household
 goods
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to wasting
Wrong verb form
do not waste
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 their
time
Use synonyms
 on useless things
such
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 as surfing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the internet and playing games.
Moreover
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, enhancing
hosehold
Correct your spelling
household
 technologies
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to become lazy and affects their regime in a bad way. Individuals tend to pay
attention less
Correct word order
less attention
show examples
 to
house works
Correct your spelling
housework
 and gaining sedentary lifestyle
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
. In the end,
this
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 problem will be
the
Correct determiner usage
one of the
show examples
 main factors of emerging
ilnesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
 and disasters on
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body.
To conclude
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,
while
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 we should embrace the efficiency of modern utilities, it is essential to use the
time
Use synonyms
 saved for more productive and healthy activities to maintain a high quality of life

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task response
Give one clear answer in the first part. Say if this is mainly good or mainly bad.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples to support your main ideas.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully. Some points are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each sentence group. Some parts join too many ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph plan.
task response
You discuss both good and bad sides of the topic.
task response
You use one example about busy people and cooking.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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