Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

Some people argue that

subjects

Use synonyms

like music, art, and drama are equally

Rephrase

apply

show examples

important as the others, especially at the primary level. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and there are many reasons as to why. School is meant to be a place where students are given the opportunity to find themselves. It is not necessary that everyone is naturally gifted at either maths or science. Some children

realize

Change the spelling

realise

show examples

that their true passion and ability

lies

Correct subject-verb agreement

lie

show examples

elsewhere

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

music

Change preposition

in music

show examples

. If the education system

was

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

limited to just a few

subjects

Use synonyms

, many children would grow up not knowing what their true calling is. There are

mulitple

Correct your spelling

multiple

paths that you can take after your schooling, and not everyone has to become a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. The entertainment industry is bigger than ever before, which leads to huge opportunities for those interested. There is

also

Linking Words

the issue of balance when it comes to studying. Studying can be very stressful, especially at a young age, and not having a way to relieve some of that stress can have very harmful effects in the long term. Higher rates of burnout are common, especially in countries like India, where I experienced these effects myself.

Subjects

Use synonyms

that are conventionally considered "less important" are often neglected and sometimes not in the curriculum at all. In conclusion,

it is clear that

Linking Words

topics

such

Linking Words

as music and drama have their place in the school system just as much as the other

subjects

Use synonyms

Ramadan

Apr 18, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

For task response: your answer is clear and you agree from the start, but you need to explain your ideas more fully in each body part.

task response

For task response: add more clear examples to support your points. The part about India is useful, but it is still short.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: use linking words with more care. Some parts move too fast, so add one more sentence to connect the ideas.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: make sure each main point is developed enough before you move to the next one.

task response

Task response: you answer the question directly and keep your opinion clear all through the essay.

task response

Task response: your main ideas are relevant to the topic of primary school subjects.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: the essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main focus.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: you have both an introduction and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It’s generally believed that success in fields such as art and sport can only be achieved if a person has natural talent.However,it’s sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to becomea good sports person or artist. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this contemporary epoch, some people think that in order to be successful in fields such as art and sports, individuals must have an innate talent for these field. Opponents and I hold a diverse view. I think that with enough practice and dedication, any individual can achieve success. My contention will be further explained.
7.5
band
Some people agree with spending lots of money on a large wedding, while others think a small wedding is a better option. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A marriage is a beautiful event and happens only once in a lifetime. Some people are willing to splurge to make it fancy and invite large numbers of groups. Conversely, certain couples would rather throw a smaller wedding ceremony and gather minor relatives. In my opinion, intimate weddings are the ones I prefer because there are more essential things to consider when undergoing a household. In this essay, I will elaborate on my perspective along with the conclusion.
6.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Despite the abundant number of the world’s population, the number of experts in each field is limited. Some advocate that professionals should be mandated to apply their knowledge in a location where they pursue their studies. Whereas others contend that the freedom to choose should be given to those individuals. This essay will delve into both perspectives and discuss the underlying reason for agreeing with the latter.
6.5
band
Task 1 Write a letter to the manager of your local bus service. They have recently made some changes to the bus services which created inconveniences for you. In your letter, explain: what are the changes what are the problems you are facing what part of the service would you like to change Write at least 150 words. You get 20 minutes to complete this task.
I would like to express my concern about the recent alterations which your transport service company has implemented in our area (Willington countryside) and the issues which I am contributing afterward.
6
band
Some people think governments should spend money in looking for life on other planet, while others think that there are many unsolved problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
There has been a contentious topic about where governments should invest money practically. To improve our future lives, I believe the governments should spend money to discover life on other planets, but at the same time, looking at our lives at present, the government should assist with finances to figure out and solve the problems which now arise in the world.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people agree with spending lots of money on a large wedding, while others think a small wedding is a better option. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think governments should spend money in looking for life on other planet, while others think that there are many unsolved problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.