IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the amount and types of water in the world, and also tell the use of water in three areas in three countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie and diagram graphs depict notable information about the
water
Use synonyms
varities globaly
Correct your spelling
varieties globally
,
as well as
Linking Words
 data presents information about the
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in
Egypt
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, Saudi Arabia,
Use synonyms
Canada
Correct word choice
and Canada
show examples
. Figures are given in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, on the earth there is significantly less fresh
water
Use synonyms
when comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the saline
water
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, and most of it is frozen in
glacers
Correct your spelling
glaciers
 and
permenant
Correct your spelling
permanent
 snows. Fresh
water
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 is actively used in agriculture, industry's and in domestic
use
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
substantialy
Correct your spelling
substantially
 higher usage of
water
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 is in agriculture's sector.
World's
Correct article usage
The world's
show examples
 total
water
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 makes up 97.5% saline
water
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 and marginally 2.5% fresh
water
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.
Although
Linking Words
 all
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 waters contain only 2.5% fresh
Use synonyms
water
Punctuation problem
water,
show examples
 it
used
Verb problem
is used
show examples
 in many areas and industries,
in particular
Linking Words
 in
agriculture
Punctuation problem
agriculture,
show examples
 where Saudi Arabia uses it the most at 50%, subsaquently following up is
Egypt
Use synonyms
, at 40% and
Canada
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, at 30%.
Egypt
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 and Saudi Arabia
use
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 considerably less
water
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on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 domestic
use
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, respectively 10% and 8%.
Whereas
Linking Words
Canada
Use synonyms
 highlights itself with realtively higher percentage, at 30%.
Egypt
Use synonyms
 uses 8% of
it's
Correct determiner usage
its
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 in
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
 section which is approximately 37% less than
Canada
Use synonyms
's (
Canada
Use synonyms
 has roughly 45%).
Moreover
Linking Words
, most of the fresh
water
Use synonyms
 is frozen, at 69.8%, and accessible, fresh
water
Use synonyms
 underground is only 29.9%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, egypt, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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