IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed , rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self- employed?

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Recent
Change preposition
In recent
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 days, being self-employed rather than working for a
company
Use synonyms
 or organisation is more likely.
Although
Linking Words
 choosing to be self-employed might be caused by external factors
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 fewer employment offers and competitive job markets, personal businesses are unstable
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and could eventually lead to
failure
Use synonyms
, as it takes much more time and energy to make one successful. In
this
Linking Words
 age and modern era, competitive job markets are everywhere, especially in major cities and companies.
This
Linking Words
 will result in fewer employment opportunities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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eventually
Punctuation problem
eventually,
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 individuals would prefer being self-employed. Candidates who failed
company
Use synonyms
 interviews many times would pursue building
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 own
business
Use synonyms
 or
company
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, a computer engineer might pursue building his own software
company
Use synonyms
 rather than joining an organisation.
In contrast
Linking Words
, building a
business
Use synonyms
 from scratch has high stakes and could lead to absolute
failure
Use synonyms
, leading to something even worse than unemployment
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as poverty. Unlike already known companies, smaller and
recent
Rephrase
recently
show examples
 started
Use synonyms
business
Check wording
businesses
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 might not be able to compete. Even if they do to some extent, unstable income from the pressure to follow trends will be a problem
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 the rate of
failure
Use synonyms
 is
high
Correct word choice
serious
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a designer building a clothing industry would have to compete
those
Change preposition
with those
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 who are already well-known in the fashion industry.
This
Linking Words
 would lead to more time, energy,
ability
Correct word choice
and ability
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 to keep up with trends and competition
with
Change preposition
in
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 more industries.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
business
Use synonyms
 could end in
failure
Use synonyms
 and unemployment once again. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 factors like competitive employment markets and fewer job opportunities are most likely the cause of self-employment,
this
Linking Words
 could result in many disadvantages
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 unstable income, stress, major output of energy and even
failure
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why people choose self-employment well, but the bad side can be developed more.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea clearer. One paragraph should have one main point, then explain it simply.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some ideas connect well, but a few sentences feel long and hard to follow.
task response
Give more direct support for your examples. Explain how each example clearly proves your point.
task response
You answered both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The overall order of ideas is easy to follow.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • entrepreneur
  • independence
  • opportunity
  • financial stability
  • set your own schedule
  • pursue your dreams
  • take risks
  • uncertainty
  • income stability
  • workload
  • taxes
  • marketing
  • client acquisition
  • job security
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