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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

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The graph illustrates the results of a survey about people's
caffeine
Use synonyms
 and tea habits include buying and drinking ,
for
Change preposition
in
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 five capital
in
Check wording
cities in
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 Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, going to a coffee shop for
caffeine
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 or tea is the highest percentage for the four
cities
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 , but the exception is Adelaide , which had less than the others. Melbourne and Hobart both had the largest numbers. In detail, bought fresh brew in Sydney and Melbourne at the same
with
Check wording
price, with
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 40%,
also
Linking Words
 for sydney and melborne and Hobart, the rate went to a coffee bar for these three city approximatly more than 60%.
capital
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Capital cities
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 like Brisbane and Adelaide are going to a bistro less compared to other
cities
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, all the
cities
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 share the same numbers in bought instant
caffeine
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, around 45% 52%.. Moving on to
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 buying fresh espresso is the lowest habit among the capitals, between 40 to 35% in each city.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the conduct is fluctuating
according to
Linking Words
 the
cities
Use synonyms
, but the popular habit is going to a cafe, and the less common habits are buying instant and fresh
caffeine
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words caffeine, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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