IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The maps demonstrate the initial layout of a
school
Use synonyms
 in 2004 and its future plan for 20 years of construction. Generally speaking, there are major changes
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
school
Use synonyms
 after redevelopment
taking
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
 place, with the noticeable alterations including an addition of pupils, a
school
Use synonyms
 building, a
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
, and a local road. Meanwhile,
sports
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
field
Check wording
fields
show examples
 and path reduce in size,
otherwise
Linking Words
 few of greenfield are removed. In 2004, the educational area
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 two
school
Use synonyms
 buildings and a
sports
Use synonyms
field
Use synonyms
,
which
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a path connecting those to the main entrance and parking lot. The
school
Use synonyms
 was surrounded by
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 forest. By 2024,
this
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
 will be projected to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 1,000
stundents
Correct your spelling
students
, 400
higher
Rephrase
more
show examples
 than was in 2004.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a proposal of new layout
educational
Correct determiner usage
of the educational
show examples
 area is proposed. The notable redevelopment will be the
sports
Use synonyms
field
Use synonyms
, which will be demolished and replaced with the third building and the second
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a small
sports
Use synonyms
field
Use synonyms
 will be built in the southern area of the second
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 two of
original
Correct article usage
the original
show examples
 buildings will be connected with a connecting building.
However
Linking Words
, half of the path will
be no longer
Correct word order
no longer be
show examples
 there, only linking the third building to the original buildings.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a road will be paved in the southern part of the
school
Use synonyms
, connecting the main entrance to the second parking lot. Maintaining their shapes, the initial
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
, the main entrance, and the motorway remain relatively unchanged.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, car, park, sports, field with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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