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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012.

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The provided line graph illustrates information regarding fluctuation for four different types of
turtles
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 over thirty-two years in India.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that all the types of
turtles
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 that inhabited
in
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apply
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India in the initial
period
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 started at the same point;
however
Linking Words
, in 32 years, the population of Olive Ridley
Turtles
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 saw a significant upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the Leatherback experienced a steady decline throughout
this
Linking Words
period
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. During the first decade of the 32-year
period
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, the population figures for all four species developed at a similar pace, reaching a peak of 90-100 units.
However
Linking Words
, from the second decade onwards, the situation changed dramatically
:
Punctuation problem
;
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 the number of Leatherback
turtles
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 fell to 60, Green
turtles
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 dropped to 80, and the
overall
Linking Words
 figure for all species declined to 95.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to others, the Olive Ridley species not only maintained its steady growth trend from the first decade but
also
Linking Words
 continued to rise throughout the subsequent
period
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it reached 128-130 in the final years, marking the highest figure of the entire
period
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words turtles, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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