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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart compares five various industries
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
illustrate
Wrong verb form
are illustrated
show examples
 as a percentage of Brazil's
economy
Use synonyms
 in 2009, 2019 and a prediction for 2029.
Overall
Linking Words
, finance is and is predicted to remain the largest contributor to the
economy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
manafacturing
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 showed steady decline.
By contrast
Linking Words
, food processing and oil, coal and gas fluctuate over the period, and tourism is expected to hold a relatively stable share after an initial fall. In 2009, finance accounted for approximately 32% of Brazil's
economy
Use synonyms
, rising to around 37% in 2019 and projected
reach
Verb problem
to reach
show examples
 about 42% by 2029, making it the dominant sector throughout. Manufacturing,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, starts at about 21% in 2009, drops to 16% in 2019 and is forecast to fall sharply to around 5% in 2029. Tourism represents close to 27% at the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the period,
then
Linking Words
 decreases to about 22% in 2019, with the lower figure expected to remain unchanged in 2029.
In addition
Linking Words
, food
proccessing
Correct your spelling
processing
 increased
steady
Rephrase
steadily
show examples
 from 12% in 2009 to roughly 22% ten years later, but is predicted
decline
Verb problem
to decline
show examples
 back to its original level of about 12% by 2029. A
simmilar
Correct your spelling
similar
 fluctuation pattern is seen in oil, coal and gas,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 from around 26% of the
economy
Use synonyms
 in 2009,
increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 to approximately 32%, and is
then
Linking Words
 forecast to fall again to about 26%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words economy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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