IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to beign learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

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There is an ongoing debate about whether doing nothing will help to confront the stress or not.
some
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Some
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 think stress
is come
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comes
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 with
over work
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overwork
 and strain, others think the opposite. From my perspective, I think it's a deep issue not
solve
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solved
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 by
ignore
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ignoring
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 it. In
this
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 essay. I will discuss
this
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 topic in detail, and I will give my own opinion. First and foremost, being happy and
with
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having
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 no difficult
moment
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moments
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 can occur when you do the right thing.
Also
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 have a peaceful time
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 you more competent.
Furthermore
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, finishing tasks early
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then
Correct word choice
and then
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relax
Wrong verb form
relaxing
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 is the more powerful thing,
it's fuel
Verb problem
it fuels
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 your energy, and
push
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pushes
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 you forward.
Secondly
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, I encountered successful people
how
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who
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 have
a
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apply
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good time management. They have achieved great successes, because they know when
stress
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to stress
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 themself, and when
take
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to take
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 a little break. Most of the authors show that the more you do hard things
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then
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, then
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 reward yourself
the
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, the
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 more you accomplish your goals. From my perspective, I think getting a holiday during
the
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apply
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work, or giving yourself a space where you
doing
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do
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 nothing but enjoying will assist you
overcome
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in overcoming
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 any problem in your life, and what I believe
of it
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in
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, that anything not as important as your health, because if
it
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it's
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 gone
everything
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, everything
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 useless and less essential. I always advise people to make a beautiful life away from distractions and
discourgment
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discouragement
. In conclusion, individuals
differe
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differ
 in their behaviours. Some
dedicating
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dedicate
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 their time
on
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to
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 studies, others get
burnout
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burned out
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 if they overestimate something
,
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;
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 it depends on human capacities.

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task response
Write about the given question only. Your essay talks about stress, but the topic is about children learning a foreign language at primary school or secondary school.
task response
Answer both sides clearly: say the good points, the bad points, and then say if the good points are stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear main ideas for each body paragraph. One paragraph for advantages and one for disadvantages is a good plan.
task response
Support each main point with one simple example. This will make your ideas easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence connect to the one before it. Now some ideas jump too fast and feel unclear.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion, which is good essay form.
task response
You give your opinion in more than one place, so the reader can see your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraph breaks, and this helps the reader follow your writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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