Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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In recent years, many
people
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have been purchasing expensive items that they do not need and cannot afford.
As a result
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, they often fall into debt, which may take years to repay. There are several reasons for
this
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behaviour.
Firstly
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, many individuals buy costly products in order to appear wealthy and gain social status. They are often influenced by society and believe that owning luxury goods will make them look successful.
Secondly
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, some
people
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are willing to take loans or borrow money to buy unnecessary items.
For example
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, when buying a house, a person may choose an expensive property to impress others
instead
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of selecting a simple home that meets basic needs.
This
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decision can lead to large bank loans and financial pressure.
However
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, there are various actions that can be taken to solve
this
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problem. The most important step is for
people
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to stop trying to look rich when they are not financially stable.
In addition
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, governments and schools should educate
people
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about money management and the dangers of overspending.
People
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should
also
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learn to control their desires and delay buying expensive products until they are financially secure. Another useful solution is to help
people
Use synonyms
understand that expensive possessions do not guarantee happiness.
Instead
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, they should spend their hard-earned money on practical things that improve their quality of life. In conclusion, there are many ways to reduce unnecessary debt,
such
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as controlling spending habits, improving financial education, and understanding that a happy life does not depend on costly possessions. I strongly believe that developing saving habits is one of the best ways to avoid financial problems.

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task response
For task response: answer both parts more fully. Your reasons are clear, but your actions could be more developed with one more clear step.
task response
For task response: add more specific examples. The house example is helpful, but one more real-life type example would make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay is easy to follow, but some ideas are a bit general. Build each main point with a clear cause and result.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: use linking words carefully. You already use 'firstly', 'secondly', 'however', and 'in conclusion' well, but add smoother links inside paragraphs too.
task response
For task response: you answer both questions and stay on the topic all through the essay.
task response
For task response: your ideas are clear and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: paragraphing is good, and the order of ideas makes sense.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • debt
  • afford
  • spend
  • buy
  • things
  • need
  • emotional
  • pressure
  • social
  • friends
  • buying
  • items
  • financial
  • education
  • manage
  • money
  • budget
  • impact
  • loans
  • overspend
  • accumulate
  • impulse
  • whim
  • regret
  • issues
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